Absolution Kingdom
by Mileycfan4eva
Summary: "No matter what the statistics say, there is always a way." Follow Antonio, Brett's journey through pregnancy, cancer. Can Gabby help Shay face her demons from her past, before it's too late to for her be saved? Shawson, Dawsey, Brettonio mild cursing in some chapters.
1. Chapter 1 Positive

**Title: Positive**

 **Location: 1360 Blue Island Ave, Chicago 60608**

 **Date and Time: 10/31/18 1:55 am**

 **P.O.V: Sylvie Brett**

Pregnant … No...I can't be, there's no way, just breathe Brett, it's easy in on 3, out on 1, relax. I'm going to be okay, no matter what I have options don't I? Pain ricochets from the base of my skull to my eyes, down my checks across my jaw traveling to my shoulders, stomach, legs. It leaves no part untouched. Every time I try to swallow my stomach rises fast, making breathing hard.

How can this be happening? Antonio, I are always careful, I'm on the pill, he always wears a condom, so how can this be happening to me? My head is spinning like crazy, I feel feverish. He is going to freak out he's made it clear he didn't want anymore kids, he has two kids already, Eva 16 and Diego 14. He's married to his job he's a detective in the Chicago Pd Intelligence unit, he barely has time for the kids he has. He even confessed to me last week, he's glad he had them young because their almost grown, once their out of the house, he can spend more time doing undercover ops.

Gentle strokes of my palm across my stomach hoping it settles down before our next call since sleep didn't seem to be happening again, it's been weeks. I haven't been able to get more than two or three hours each week. Maybe some ginger-ale or tea would help. Why was I shivering and feeling cold when I could tell I had a fever?

Getting up I headed to the kitchen my shoulders ached as badly as my head, maybe I needed to talk to Antonio this wasn't going to go away. "Sylvie what's happening?" Gabriela Dawson's voice startled me as I came into the common room I thought everyone was asleep.

"What's wrong Sylvie?" She handed me a cup of steaming tea god I really am freezing, what's wrong with me?

Being cold isn't a sign of pregnancy normally, I love tea usually right now though I felt an overwhelming urge to throw up. I knew I couldn't swallow it not without vomiting, still the warmth against my hands soothed me. Gabby stared at me her gaze penetrated through my face, her fingers touching my arm, "Talk to me baby girl you've been distracted all week, I've heard you getting sick at least three times per shift all week, you're barely sleeping, you look exhausted," Her cold hand touched my left cheek sending shivers down my warm face her eyes searched mine for clues.

"I'm scared Gabby" the words caught in my throat closing my eyes, I concentrated on breathing not easy when my chest felt so tight, restricted in fear, confusion, pain. "Scared of what my love? Talk to me. Sylvie nothing can be this horrible."

"I'm pregnant Gabby, I don't know how to tell Antonio." Her eyes widened her mouth dropped open, left hand flying over her mouth gasping in shock. "Oh my god Sylvie come here sweetheart!" Instantly her arms wrapped around my shivering body pulling me tightly.

"Are you sure?" Nodding I closed my eyes taking in her warmth, love, protection as the tears started to fall fast, fierce. Slow comforting motions across my back calmed me down despite my dizziness. "Positive, I took the home test two weeks ago, I finally got the courage to get a doctors test Monday, I'm almost 11 weeks, I don't want to believe it Dawson. I'm so scared, I don't know what to do." Dawson rubbed my back soothingly speaking softly "Take a deep breath Sylvie, talk to me,"

"Are you sure you want to hear this?" She nodded biting my lip I let out a deep sigh she gently gripped my elbow leading me to the couch where Mouch was sitting half asleep "When I was pregnant last time, I hated it, I'm sorry I know this sounds fucked up. I don't regret carrying Brent he's a beautiful, fun, sweet, awesome boy, but I hated it, I felt sick the entire time, I couldn't do the job I loved, I felt like I was being degraded, I never wanted kids Gabby, I couldn't get excited when I was carrying him." "Sweetie we talked about this, you weren't pregnant with your child, you were carrying him for Matt, I maybe you detached yourself knowing that he wasn't yours," Shaking my head I laid my upper half of my body in her arms, her gentle hands stroked my hair and face. "Sylvie sweetie have I told you how grateful I am for you? You gave me thee most precious gift anybody could ever give a women" "Yes Gabby you have everyday for the last five and a half years,"

"God five years, Brett I can't believe he'll be six years old soon." "Time flies Gabby," Her arms wrap around my trembling body, even closing my eyes does very little to stop the damn spinning or rising nausea. "Have I told you today sweetie?" "No not today." "In that case my little blond atomic ambrosial, thank you, thank you so much, I can never repay you for what you did." Her hands rested on my stomach ever so lovingly running small circles around it, which strangely helped settle my nausea. I feel her lips on my check I can smell her vanilla body lotion, sleep is making my eyelids heavy.

Her touch comforts me, there is a joy in her voice, it practically makes the darkened stiff room bounce with enthusiasm, love. It's only when she talks about her kids that I hear this exuberance, spark, it's how moms are suppose to feel about their children prideful, admiration, hope, their emotions truly inspire songs, dances, poems. It's how my mom felt about my brothers and I.

"Brent is perfection smart, talented, he has a heart of gold." Gabriela's eyes dance in a light of pulchritudinous marvel. Her lips gaze my ear as she whispers to me "Just think hon in five years this could be you talking about your bundle of joy." Closing my eyes I tried to find some resemblance of joy as she was radiating, I couldn't all I felt was dread, sliding my hand under hers I feel her squeeze mine lightly. "Can I ask you something Gabby?" "Sure mama"

"When did you know you wanted to be a mom?" She paused sipping her coffee "I guess forever." She laughed almost spitting out her coffee "Mom use to say I would take my dolls with me everywhere she couldn't even wash them."

"I would sleep with them rock them feed them, arrange play dates between them, I baby sat all my cousins and we have a lot of them, after Tony had kids I'd baby sit them Laura use to say I was so good with them, I was a natural mom." "I admired my mom who worked two jobs and raised us without ever complaining." "I guess it came down to this Sylvie growing up my dad raised me to believe a women's job was to be educated, be fierce, get a good job, find a husband, have kids,"

"When the doctors told me I couldn't have kids seven years ago. I felt like I was being ripped open raw, I felt like I wasn't a real women." Tears came to her eyes looking up I could see the pain shining so brightly it burned even my soul. "Gabby that doesn't make you any less of a women," "I know that now sweetheart, it took a long time though." "Gabs will you think of me any less of a women if I tell you something?" "What is it Sylvie?"

"I uh...god this is so hard to say out loud but it's how I feel, I've tried to deny it, I can't though hearing you express your love, excitement. It just it makes it so much clearer that I don't want kids, I never want to be stuck at home cooking, cleaning, sewing. I don't ever want to hear when's dinner ma'?" I feel physically ill thinking about being stuck with the responsibility of another living being, I want to get an abortion, how do you and Antonio feel about abortion? I know your both heavily Catholic,"

She couldn't answer me she just stared open mouthed before she could reply the alarm sounded. "Ambo's 61, 62, Engine 51, Squad 3, Truck 81 1655 south main bar fire." her silence gave me my answer sending waves of fear, nausea crashing through my body. If this is how my best friend/ partner reacted, how would Antonio who's temper was less controlled than hers react? Would he blame me, hate me, reject me?


	2. Chapter 2 Regrets

**Chapter 2:**

 **Location: 1360 Blue Island Ave, Chicago, IL, 60608**

 **Date, Time: 13/31/18 2:50 am**

 **P O V: Matthew Casey**

Coca Puffs, Fruit Loops, Frosted Flakes, Captain Crunch. Dang so many choices I feel like I'm shopping for my kids. All sugar how can anyone eat this? "So Captain I have a quandary." Looking up I see Mouch standing in the firehouse kitchen. Back against the wall arms over his chest eyes cast downwards. My eyes watch him as I grab the coca puffs "What's your issue Mouch?" check the milk date Matt remember this isn't home where people actually care about not getting food poison, this is a house filled with a bunch of damn animals. Nov 12th good, just in case sniff it.

Smells like milk. Casting another glance at Mouch who was staring straight out, I wondered what he was thinking about. "Earth to Mouch." He was frozen his lips unable to part, even throwing a puff at him did nothing, except excite Herrman who lunged for the sweetened treat as it bounced off Mouch's nose. "Oh Coca Puff sweeeeet!" Herrman's eyes sparkled "Hey no judgment people until you have five little monsters all fighting for this stuff every morning." "It hit his face dog, gross." Cruz's statement did little to persuade Herrman that this wasn't gold, popping it in his mouth he grinned.

"Hey I shower people!" Mouch came out of his trance like state glaring at Cruz who replied teasingly "Oh he speaks!" 'Of course I speak." "We were starting to wonder Mouch. I mean you kind of just froze like a deer in headlights." "Oh right yeah uh sorry about that. I uh..well I was wondering about something Captain. If I heard something I wasn't suppose to hear, now I don't know what to do about it, what do I do?"

Damn this cereal is amazing. No wonder my kids fight over this shit. "So how did you hear about this thing you weren't suppose to hear?" "Thing?" His face was unreadable as he relapsed back into his silent trance. Leaving me wonder why did he start this conversation if he wasn't prepared to have it fully. "Spill it Mouch, or move it. I have a lot of paperwork to do."

"I heard Brett tell Dawson she's pregnant and considering abortion."

"Brett's pregnant?" Stella yelled "What?" If the house wasn't up before they were now. Everyone ran forward. Yup Sylvie was gonna be pissed, rightfully so. "Pregnant?" Herrman repeated again as Capp, Ferrais cheered. "Abortion?" Stella, Ritter commented. "Who's the daddy?" Cruz, Otis called out. "$120.00 on Antonio who's with me?" Herrman planted money down on the table as Stella challenged him "$150.00 on Hazmatt dude." "$200.00 on Dawson she's so over hazmat dude besides weren't you banging him?" "Oh you're sick, twisted and avoiding dude hazmat guy has it." Herrman not to be out done slammed his paycheck down "I bet my whole damn check it's Antonio's that's how sure I am."

The whole house cheered except for Mouch who stared ahead again not normal for him when there is betting going on or gossip. "I don't know what to do Casey."

"Well for starters Mouch not telling the whole damn house her personal business would have been a good start." He blushed shrugging. "Yeah not my finest moment." "The thing is Casey, I know if she has an abortion. She'll regret it." "How Mouch? How do you know she will regret it? Brett's never wanted kids, she's made that very clear."

"Because I have always felt that way to and yet I regret having an abortion." His face remained calm neutral adding to the shock value all which contributed to me spitting out my cereal as Stella walked by. "Ew. Gross dude look just because Dawson liked this kinky shit, doesn't mean all women do. Gross, just gross. I need a damn shower. Move it losers."

The mention of Dawson's name didn't cause a wave of depression or anger like it would of months ago. We've made our peace, we divorced amicably, with our kids as our fist priority and our friendship, work relationship in mind. "I was young, 19 in college, in love, or thought I was. We were foolish didn't always use protection. Cardi got pregnant we we're broke, came from religious back rounds, our parents would of killed us, we were unwed, not in a hurry to get married, so I convinced her to get an abortion. We broke up later that month, I know she regretted it, she could barely look at me." "I blocked it out for a long time, till Emmett came along, he made me question things, he made me remember, he made me wonder about my child. Would the baby of been a boy? A girl? What would they be like? Look like, sound like?"

"I know Sylvie Matt, we all do, I know that once she hears that heartbeat, feels the baby kick, all her doubts, fears and negative thoughts will melt away, I just don't know how to talk to her. Like you said this wasn't my business to know or tell. I don't want her to live with the pain of regret. It's a bitter pill to swallow."

"Talk to her Mouch be honest apologize for listening. Do it before one of these bozo's get to her." "Are you sure it's a good idea?" Shrugging I yelled for truck to hurry and gather their things. "Gabby took her to Med since she fainted in the field, it can't hurt to talk Mouch. I'm sure she's scared and feeling alone right now."

"Yo I got another bet for you suckers!" Herrman yelled out "$125.00 on Shay getting the balls to ask Dawson out first." Jumping in I laughed "No man you don't know Dawson like I do. She'll make the first move $3,000 my brother on that!"

Seems strange betting on my ex wife non existent love life. She'd kill every one of us, I want her to be happy though. She's an amazing women, she works her ass off, she fights for everyone else. It's about time someone fights for her. I know she's in love with Shay, I know Shay's in love with her, they seem to be the only ones who don't know it.

I worry about them, Brett, Shay, Dawson my ladies, I wonder of Mouch is right would she regret it? She's not him. I was living with her when she carried Brent for Gabby, I. She was miserable the whole time, frightened. Would her own child be any different?

I guess we were about to find out, I hope she's alright, seeing her collapse like that was scary. What could possibly be wrong with her, was it something to do with the baby?

I wondered how she would feel if something was wrong with her baby after she contemplated having an abortion. Would she blame herself?

 **Thanks for all those who favored and reviewed. I'll update as soon as I can, posted a new fic today called Erase it's a crossover with PD, Fire, SVU under the SVU category.**


	3. Chapter 3 Reactions

**Chapter 3 Reactions**

 **P O V: Sylvie Brett**

"Pregnant? Holy shit Sylvie. Are you sure?" Antonio paced around the hospital room. His face was confused scared. I knew it, he hated me. He's pissed Tony's admitted he doesn't want more kids, he wants to focus on his job, not raising a kid with a younger girlfriend or whatever I am to him. Am I even that? If he won't support me how am I going to support a child by myself? Did I even want to raise a child at all? I'm a paramedic with the cfd, I barely make $25.00 an hour which roughly comes to 4,359 a month, annually around $52,609.

Factor in daily living expenses there's no way I can do this. Gabby, I split an apartment which we can barely afford the 4,799 monthly rent. There's no way I can afford a child my chest tightens my hands feel tingly, vision is cloudy. "Breathe, Sylvie, sweetie relax." I felt Emily, Gabby squeeze my hands. "Focus on a spot take slow deep breaths in count to three than let it out." I found Antonio's flannel shirt the top was open slightly damn he is a fine specimen of manhood.

He remained speechless almost frozen tears spilled down my face. "I knew it Gabby, see he doesn't want kids, even less than I do, Abortion is the right call for me," "Abortion!" Antonio yells so now he talks figures. Was yelling at me suppose to get me to see his point of view? Was I not suppose to get mad back? Ignore his wavy hair or the twitch of his lips which always make me want to kiss him. "you seriously could do that Sylvie? You could kill our baby? What kind of monster are you?" His words stop me cold leaving me sickened to my stomach, my head spinning heart beating like a drummer boy marching in the desert with with a coat on.

Gabriela jumped up her temper flaring I could see it in the way her nostrils flared her eyes steadily focused on him, only him, her fists clenched at her sides. "What the hell is wrong with you? I know ma' didn't raise you to be a jackass towards women," "Ma didn't raise me to be a murder either, for god sakes you don't just hit me this kind of news and expect me to just be chill with it, I need time to adjust,"

"Will it really make a damn bit of difference Antonio?"

"Yeah Sylvie it might, you didn't give me a chance to talk,"

"What would you say if I let you talk Tony?"

"I would tell you that yes it's bad timing sure, I'm swamped with work, my kids just came to live with me which is a big ass adjustment in itself."

"Your proving my point Antonio, not helping at all,"

"Please let me talk Sylvie," he came over taking my hand which shock sitting next to me. "Despite all this babe, I love you. I already love this baby, I want to raise it together we can do this together sweetheart" his speech left me well speechless straddling me in his arms he leaned over me. Taking in his cinnamon musk scent I felt my body start to relax glancing at his eyes, I felt my heart flutter those damn eyes get me every time. Gentle his hands ran up my body wiping my tears away, his lips warm wet press against my temple. "god I love you Tony" his grin was cocky as he answered "Course you do I am very lovable just as Gabby ma' always loved me best," he winked at her as she threw an empty cup at him "That's cuz you were always up her ass, it's no problem Tony. I always have daddy's love," "Good sis you can keep him, his debts to"

"I love you to babe," I wasn't imagining it when my heart rate went higher head turned as our lips connected warm soft inviting, everyone gasped as the lines on the monitor spiked. His fingers trail the curve of my spine making my body twitch, his laugh breaks us apart, a good thing since we were apparently putting on quite the show.

Coming down I was left wondering what was I suppose to do about this pregnancy. I thought hearing him say those words, I want to raise this child with you, I love you would instantly make me know. They didn't it just left me more concerned. Life isn't a TV show Sylvie, not everything is solved in 45 minutes, life is messy, confusion, hard, painful, unfair but life is always real.

"Sylvie," we looked up to see Dr. Natalie Manning enter along with Dr. Will Halstead both looking very serious. Reaching for Antonio's hand fear ran rampant through my whole body. I can't speak so I am glad when Gabby asks directly her hand rested on my knee. "What's wrong with Sylvie? Is her baby okay?" "Our baby Gabby," Antonio corrects her. My baby it hits me this isn't a fetus or a problem anymore, no this is a real person forming inside of me. My child which could be in trouble. "It's not the baby Sylvie," "So what's wrong with me? Am I sick?" "I'm afraid so, as you know Sylvie we ran a lot of tests when you came in," "Yeah I can still feel the damn bone marrow test you people did, ow," "Yea sorry dear you'll be feeling that one for a few days," Gabby rubs my hip as she addresses Dr. Manning "So what's wrong Natalie?"

"Combined with your CBC counts, the B.M. I'm afraid all signs point to Acute Promyelocytic Leukemia."

The world started to spin again too fast I felt like I was back in six flags on that damn roller-coaster my brothers forced me to ride. I wanted off this ride as badly as I wanted off that damn coaster on my terms before the blackness came. "Sylvie," I tired to force my eyes open, I heard everyone yelling, I couldn't open my eyes.

 **A/N: Any Manifest fans out there? Started a new fic called Choices. Thanks to all who have read or reviewed. How amazing was that finale? Who's excited for Dec 5th Chicago Fire new episode.**


	4. Chapter 4 Hope is on our side

**Chapter 4: Hope is on our side**

 **P O V: Sylvie Brett**

"Leukemia," I repeated the word slowly out loud Gabby's eyes were filled with anger, fear, confusion. "Your saying Sylvie has the same damn disease my son has been fighting for four years now?" I saw her squeeze Matt's hand her fear snaked into my bones, seeping into my pores. Dr. Manning smiled sadly "I'm afraid so Gabby, I am so sorry," "What good is Sorry Natalie? Will sorry find a cure for Sylvie? For my son? No it won't so sorry means shit Natalie, I want a second opinion, you're not an oncologist, maybe you screwed up. Sylvie's always been the picture of health, hardly even a cold, cancer no fucking way, she's been Brent's donor for years, they ran countless tests on her all the damn time, they never detached cancer not once,"

Gabby was near hysterical tears running down her beautiful face snot leaking out her nose. Her fingers gripped mine even more tighter. I found myself wanting to comfort her knowing she was probably confronting her worst memory the day she heard her oldest son/ her only child at the time had cancer. I remember it so clearly the three of us waiting in the trauma bay with their one year old son who I had been babysitting so they could have date night, he spiked a fever of 101, the cold he had been fighting for two weeks had gotten worse, he had become lethargic, his color had diminished rapidly over the course of the evening. His breathing had become labored as he tried to sleep which never seemed to come to him. So I rushed him to Med and called them right away.

Shivering now at the memory of Dr. Renee Reno who all the kids call Dr. ReRe telling us Brent didn't have just a cold he had in fact a very aggressive form of Cancer called acute promyelocytic leukemia (APL). APL is a malignancy of the bone marrow blood cells in the myeloid line of cells, with an excess of immature cells called promyelcoytes this leads to a shortage of white, red cells and platelets.

APL is fast growing, spreads fast the more I lay here thinking about it. I realize I was experiencing the symptoms for weeks thinking it was just normal pregnancy symptoms. Nausea, unexplained bruising bleeding without clotting, fevers, exhausting.

Biting my lip I knew what lay ahead of me having been by Brent's side the whole time, months of intense Chemo and the nasty side effects nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, convulsions, bleeding, rashes, headaches, he spent months upon months in isolation, Gabby, I were his best matches for blood, platelets, bone marrow. Whatever he needed whenever he needed it we spent months in the hospital alongside of him.

"Sylvie," Looking up I saw Gabby gently stroking my face her eyes still so angry not at me, or even the doctors despite her ass tearing of Dr. Manning which I kind of felt bad for her, she was after all only doing her job, one that included giving bad news not something any of us ever want to be the deliver of. I know Gabby knows this, I also know she's been on the receiving end of the bad news well too often in the last five years. "I'm here Gabby, we got this, cancer ain't going to win,"

Her fingers laced entwined with mine slide over my stomach. I knew she was afraid not just for me, but for my baby as well, her niece or nephew. Just breathe Sylvie breathe slowly and focus on what you have to do next. Dr. Manning took my hand "I've consulted with a colleague of mine Dr. Roberson he will be in shortly to discuss your options, Sylvie I want you to know I am here for you all of us at Med are, we all love you," "Thanks Natalie, seriously don't let what Gabby said effect you, she's angry at the world right now she's hurting, scared, she knows this isn't your fault, she honestly will appreciate your support once she's level headed," She nodded smiling at me squeezing my hand again.

"I can speak for myself Sylvie Brett," "Yeah I know but right now your blinded by the past of painful memories, your only thinking about the worst scenario, what I have to lose, one of us has to be the voice of hope, of reason, logic,"

"Ambo 61 teen down, 1362 LaGRange street this is dispatch can anyone respond?" Chief nodded at Shay and Foster knowing full well Gabby wasn't leaving my side. "Shay you're PIC on this Foster you follow her, listen to her word for word," "Copy that chief." Once they left Gabby sat back next to me taking my left hand, Antonio was on my other side. "Close your eyes Sylvie, rest your head on my shoulder, will both be here babe."

Would he though? If I had to abort our baby? "Gabby?" My breathing was labored as I opened my eyes. How much time had passed? I can't believe I fell asleep "Yes sweetie?" "Can I have some aspirin? My throat felt like fire was coursing through it. I could barely get the words out, Gabby's hands stroked over my sweat soaked face brushing my loosened blond strands out of my face.

Everything was spinning so fast I could barely make sense out of anything or catch my breath. "Can you hold me Tony?" "Course sweetie" His arms wrapped around me as I let my body mold onto his chest. His hand ran small circles around my back. "I'm here for you, this beautiful baby we created together," his hand rested on my stomach "Do you have a headache Sylvie?" I nodded at Gabby as an answer to her question "Throat hurts?" Another nod "I'll get Dr. Manning close your eyes and rest Sylvie."

Easier said than done in reality still I closed my eyes to humor them both taking in his manly scent of pine, cinnamon and musk, his warmth made my body stop shivering. I felt him pull the blanket over my body. "For every fear Sylvie, I want you to think of something positive a new way to hope," I knew what he was trying to do still it was so hard to do what he was asking of me.

Butterfly kisses lined my jawline, my checks till he got to my lips, forehead. The feel of his strong heartbeat helped ease my heart-rate which was racing in fear. "Cancer is scary Sylvie very scary, you would be silly not to be at least a little scared, what you need to do though is talk to us don't be afraid your burden us, you are not, we are here for you. We love you, we are just as afraid."

"Close your eyes breathe slow in on the count of 3, than slowly out on 3. Picture our baby when he or she is born, ten pink little wrinkled toes and fingers, rosy checks, those amazing sparkling eyes as beautiful as yours." he touched my nose with his lips kissing it.

"Girl or boy?" I coughed pain hitting the back of my skull vibrating all over "It doesn't matter to me as long our baby is healthy, what about you?" I felt his kisses travel all the way down my neck. "I love both of my kids Sylvie, I have a different relationship with each of them. With Diego we play ball, we box, we play chest he's a logic type of guy, always plotting his next strategic move, nothing scares that boy, he always finds some of of reason as to why he shouldn't be afraid," "He's an amazing young man Tony," "He is Sylvie thank you."

Fingers trailed my spinal bone up my thighs across my stomach. "So what do you and Eva like to do?" "Museums she has a love of history of research so some days we just pick different cities in the USA, we look up their museums fly out for the day. Explore two or three of them than walk around the city find historical events from that city, try different restaurants," "Sounds amazing babe," "It is Sylvie truly it is, so I will love our baby either way a girl I can see us in the ballet studio or traveling the world together, I can see her on the baseball field slamming home-runs in. A boy I can see myself teaching him to box or play ball or paint whatever he wants, checking out those cute puppies together,"

Laughter is the best medicine they say if that's the case I should already be cured because I laughed so hard when he said "puppies." I literately almost peed hoovering myself over his body I breathy replied to him. "Kiss me Tony please," "You don't have to ask twice my lady," our lips met soft like a puppy kissing your checks, you feel yourself blush, you can feel the excitement tingling up from your toes to your very soul, there's nothing like the love you feel when a puppy trusts you enough to kiss you.

Our bodies crushed together as my arms gave out he wrapped his around me tighter every muscle, every cell, every fiber was aroused as we lay in my hospital bed kissing with so much fire, passion every high school bon-fire would be jealous.

His hands pushed me back as a coughing wave hit me hard "You need to rest Sylvie, as much as I want to keep doing this, we can't." his lips grazed mine "I don't want to rest, I want to keep…." my eyelids grew heavy my speech slurred his laugh filled my mind along with his last words. "Sleep angel Sylvie, sweet dreams my love."


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5 A Boy Called Waif**

 **P O V: Leslie Shay**

"$100 dollars down on Gabby," "Huh?" "What are you talking about Foster?" "I bet $100 dollars with Herrman, Severide, Otis that Gabby gets the balls to admit she likes you first," My head spun so fast I almost lost control of the Ambo. "you guys bet on us?" She grinned sheepishly "Something has got to give Shay, if you won't get the balls to admit to her how you feel, she will have to at some point, neither one of you can live in this limbo state forever," "We're not pawns Foster, you can't bet on us like horses in the damn Belmont, we have feelings, obligations."

Jumping out of the rig I opened the side door pulling out of the trauma bag. "Chill Shay it was just a joke, seriously though she likes you everyone can see it," "Of course she likes me we're best friends for over ten years, we're partners," She rolls her eyes "Please," the second we round the Ambo we see a scene of complete disorder. Police cruisers are racing up behind us a teenage boy was strung up on the pole beneath the railroad tracks four teens who have beaten this poor kid nearly to death see us and haul ass out of there, my breath catches when I see two of those teens are Diego and Eva Dawson, Antonio's kids.

"It's more than friendship Shay she looks at you like a little kid who is staring at an ice cream cone on a hot summer day, she wants to lick every rim of that cone," "Gross Foster I'll never look at ice cream the same now," "Shit Shay if I had the chance I would lick every part of Gabby just to get out all the last of her delicious cream, she is fine"

My mind is on the Dawson kids why were they here? How did they get involved with a violent crime like this? Why were they running? "New bet Shay $200 if you get your skinny chicken ass straight to Gabby when this shit is all done and admit to her that you want to ride her like a bunny," "So I'm suppose to bet on myself?" "Well if you have the balls to do this shit, you'll win, cuz I bet you ain't got the balls," "why because I don't like balls, I don't have any?" she shrugged "Whatever I know you ain't got it in you child we all do so I'm about to be $500 richer tonight cuz the bet ends tonight, ha ha I'm getting turnt tonight smack them monkey balls,"

We waited till 81 had the boy cut down Erin Lindsay, Hailey Upton and Kim Burgess had taken off after Diego, Eva and another teenage boy. While Kevin Atwater and Jay Halstead took after the 4th teenager. Sargent Hank Voight cursed calling Antonio on his cell.

After five minutes Casey, Stella and Herrman had the kids cut down carrying him over to our stretcher. Flinging his arms, gasping for air, wild eyes filled with fear, "No cops, No cops, send them away," gently laying my arm on his shoulder I tried to talk to him to ease his fears. "Sweetie your not in trouble, my name's Shay, I am a paramedic, this is my partner Foster we're here to help you," "No police, no cops,"

"Okay sweetie no cops, lets get you to the hospital they can sort it out there call your parents,"

"Not my parents," I looked to Emily as we started an IV, got him hooked to monitors. "So you don't call them mom or dad, what do you call them?" "Eric or Basil please no cops," "Foster give him 30cc of Epinephrine," "Copy Shay" "Mom, dad I don't remember them,"

His fever was spiking fast indicating possible infection one of the reasons this kid could be having issues focusing. "Did they die when you were young hun?" "No they didn't die, I did," "We exchanged looks as a very familiar sicking feeling came over me. Starting from my stomach rising to my chest, arms almost paralyzing me. "Can you tell me where you live?" "Now or then lady?" 'Shay my name is Shay either one will do hun," "I don't remember then I was too young, now I can't tell you," "Your not in trouble babe, we just need to know so we can contact your guardians," "I can't tell you I don't know."

He was starting to calm down now yet nothing was making sense. "Can you tell us your name babe?" Foster asked his eyes welled up "they call me Waif," Waif it means Orphan a child without any parents. "They said my parents died, they lied I know the truth, it's not them that died, I have died, they said if I call the cops, they will kill me, how though? I am already dead you can't kill death can you?" He laughed sadly "Sweetie it's okay you are safe now we're here,"

"No one will believe me, I'm just a kid with too big of an imagination."

My legs gave out as the voice that I thought I had buried years ago came back to me. "Shay." Foster tried to talk to me but I was caught up in the memory of that day almost twenty-eight years before.

 **(Flashback)**

" _Strike 'em out baby girl, you can do this!" Cheers erupted from the crowd gathered around Jefferson field both sides of the stands each filled with parents, friends from both little league teams. Looking to my coach_ _Natasha_ _Raelynn Conway, I felt an assurance of love, belief. Even though my parents weren't there, she was, she believed in me, cheered me on not just because she was my coach or my friend, because she genuinely cared. "Dream big girl ya' got this." Deep Breath Grace, deep breath you can do this. Closing my eyes for a moment I gave myself a little pep talk, I've trained for this for years, all the extra practices Coach has given to me, all the talks to build my self confidence they aren't in vain, nope you got this. Remember what your father always says Emanuel_ _Ó Séaghdha_ _d_ _id not raise his kids to be wimps. I could hear his voice inside my ear as I stood at the pitchers mound Grace Isabella Ó Séaghdha there is no fireside like your own fire inside, be the candle that burns those who dare try to distinguish it,"_

 _I wound up bases were loaded it was top of the 8_ _th_ _my team was up 10-9, two outs, if I got a 3_ _rd_ _strike we'd win. If they hit we were going home losers and there was no way I could face my father, my teammates, town or my coach. Everything is riding on my shoulders, a heavy price for an 11 year old girl, but one I could bare._

 _St. Lois Morgan Hills_ _Little League_ _was depending one me_ _we hadn't had a championship win in over a decade, for the last year Coach had been training me extra hard because she saw something in me, she said I had a spark, a passion that burned as bright as the stars. Bending slightly my eyes swept over the batter a boy about 12, his eyes weren't nervous the very opposite steady as two beams of steel. He was cocky the way he grinned at me I knew what he was thinking a girl yeah right this chick ain't gonna strike me out. I'm Billy Smart, the star RIB hitter of Martian Creek Little League from Wisconsin. My eyes caught with the catcher my best friend Elizabeth Lesley Spencer she grinned at me she always had the most beautiful smile._

 _Her long blond hair was braided in two separate braids her eyes connected with mine. "Diamond," she yelled out making m_ _e_ _laugh, smile. Diamond was our code word for two reasons, one was because we lived in Beverly Hills so we were use to seeing stuck up princes, princesses so whenever we saw one who thought they were too dang good for us, we'd yell Diamond because well diamonds are the worlds most beautiful jewel. Number two was because we were tough as diamonds not swallow or breakable. We could be pretty and sweet but inside we were tough as nails. So whenever we encountered someone like Mr. Martian_ _Creek we just had to remember we were tougher than them._

' _Hey batter, batter, swing batter batter swing," My arm ached as I threw the ball for what was probably the 100_ _th_ _time this game. My breath was suspended in mid air as I released_ _the ball watching as it sailed through the air everyone was frozen in this moment. Watching as the ball sliced through the air to cross over the home plate, "strike," I heard the word which sounded like magic to my ears. The batter threw his bat in anger. Cheers erupted the team surrounded me screaming in pure happiness._

 _Parents swarmed the field in sheer exuberance tears running down their faces as hands pounded my back, shoulders, head kissing my head. My eyes searched for my family maybe they had come late and couldn't find a seat. My eyes came back empty "hey girl, I told ya you could do do it, didn't I?" Raelynn came over grinning wrapping her arms around me,_ _her lips grazed my forehead. She's funny, talented, beautiful she pays extra attention to me she helps me with my homework, my fast pitch, catching. "Thanks Rae, dang I have to pee bad," "Grace you know the rules, you can't go anywhere without an adult," "I know Coach Rae but my parents ain't here what a shocker, I have to go really bad, can you take me," She looked around "Okay babe, I suppose everything here is under control,"_

 _I make it quick as I'm washing up she looks at me and smiles, she's leaning against the sink watching me_ _strangely. "Feel better?" I nodded thinking how pretty she is her checks are full deep dark pink, her eyes almost sparkle, I want to be like her when I am older. "My daddy always told me there's nuthin' a good piss or a cold beer can't fix," I think that's strange so I told her she throws back her head laughing a deep belly laugh. Slugging my arm a little bit "I always said the same thing grace baby, you and I are so alike sometimes it scares me," she throws her arm across my shoulders amazing me she thinks were alike? How so? I want to know more, I don't know why it is so important yet it somehow it feels like life or death._

 _At first I didn't notice where we were heading when I do notice I see we are heading away from the field, she simply smiles at me lovingly touching my nose. "just getting some fresh air darlin'you deserve it sugar what you did out there today was totally tubular!"_ _my whole body becomes stiff in excitement I love when she compliments me. "We really did it coach didn't we?" "We did it baby girl, we surely did, I am so proud of you_ _Dudette," she touched her nose next to mine, I could feel her breath against my check, minty fresh my skin tingled._

 _Her hands held me in her arms I felt her heart beating so strong her eyes danced like moon beans across the surface of a beautiful cyan ocean. "you like my eyes Grace?" her voice is super soft like cotton candy. I don't understand why it's changed yet it did something to me, my whole body came alive. Her hands pulled me closer "Yeah," My voice cracks, she laughs super girlie like, I can feel myself blushing. Her touch against my checks is super cool. "Why do you like my eyes so much? Their just eyes," "No Rae their more than just eyes, their like I don't know how to tell you, I'm only 11,_ _maybe like music notes dancing across the scale to their own beat, I never could dance I always wanted to learn do you know how?" "I do love, would you like me to show you how?" I nod happily "Close your eyes place your hands in mine,"_

 _She sits on a table pulling me between her legs. "Let go of your doubts, don't listen to that voice inside your head listen to mine," I follow her advice feeling my body press against hers I trust her so I don't react when I feel her lips against mine, I'm not sure I know how to even react, I've never kissed anyone before, her lips are soft, warm, it feels beautiful, yet breakable, like if the light hits it the truth will come out, will be exposed, judged._

 _I don't want to be exposed, I want to stay in her arms held safe. "love," she whispers kissing my forehead "that's the secret to a beautiful dance, you have to_ _love what_ _you_ _are doing, music unlocks for only the truest of passions," I'm still frozen_ _"_ _kiss me again Rae, please I need to feel your warmth," She's nervous yet she drops down lower I sit on her leg she wraps her arm around me. "are you sure grace?' I love how she says my name the way her lips part mid breath, her upper one curls up on the side. Her lower one hangs like she's afraid to let go of my name."_

" _I'm 100% sure coach, kiss me please," "First babe don't call me coach it's creepy, call me Rae," leaning down she presses her lips against mine I grant her access. Breathing her in closing my eyes._

 _Air I can't breathe a hand covers my mouth another across my throat, my eyes snap open no longer am I in her lap now my back side is pressed against a grown man's body. Rae is now standing looking nervous. "Grace be quite don't scream, you said you wanted to be together forever right?" I'm too scared, confused to answer her, the man holding me is strong he smells badly of fresh pine, real leather, cigar, ponderosa pine, he's rough pushing me forward,_ _my knees lock, my legs twitch "Scream I'll kill you, then I'll get that pretty little sister of yours, what's her name again? Rae darlin'" "Megan," "Ah Megan is a fine name for a pretty lil' thang," I freeze feeling my heart beat pound harder. I'm dizzy with fear. "No one will believe you, you are just a kid with too big of an imagination, I promise you though Megan won't escape, so you either shut up or I get her,"_

 _I_ _would do anything to protect my sister so I get in with help from his hand he shoves me hard, I land on my face Rae climbs in the back with me her hand on my knee, which I yank away he gets into the drivers seat, the van jerks away from the field and life as I know it._

 **(present day)**

"Shay," my body jerks back as I fall back against the damn wall hit by the intensity of those memories. Emily is in front of me on her knees worried. "Casey can you drive? Something is wrong with Shay," she straps the BP cuff on me before I can stop her, Casey has already jumped into the drivers seat. Stella is now in the back with us. Eric and Basil's faces pop into my mind except I knew them as Rae and Teddy. "Shay," voices call to me I can't answer them, I'm paralyzed in a world of spinning black orbs, they call me to their land promising me peace.

 **A/N Happy Holidays Everyone hope everyone is safe, well and blessed, thanks for the reviews and favorites. Have another story up called Christmas Promises Might Lie.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6: Sworn**

 **P O V: Hailey Upton**

"CPD Freeze!" It hardly ever works sometimes I wonder why we even scream it other than the whole legal point, wouldn't it just be better to run my ass off sneak up on the suspect and tackle their damn ass? Yes oblivious but no the law says we must warn the criminal because their only suspected of committing the crime that I literately just saw them committing. Nope their not guilty till a court of law says they are.

Kim hasn't even stopped the SUV before I am springing out of the vehicle already giving chase to three of the teens who have now split from the fourth, Kim's not far behind me, I can hear Erin Lindsay also joining us in pursuit of three of the teens.

"CPD Freeze! Diego! Eva stop resisting!" Erin seems too know two of the teens how? Kim is closer to me now both of us already breathing heavy. "We need to hit the gym Burgess we're getting old and out of shape," She laughs "Will make it a date babe, tomorrow after shift, me and you Goldie's gym,"

We high fived each other as I grabbed my radio having a bad feeling this chase wasn't ending any time soon. "This is Detective Upton, I am currently chasing three teens down 3501 N Elston Ave, be advised there are plain clothes officers on the scene we are requesting backup all three teens are wearing black jeans, light blue polo shirts, Grey and purple hoodies. Turing left just past Chief O'Neills Pub," "Copy Detective backup is on the way,"

"Diego and Eva Dawson," Kim gasps out as we pick up our pace Erin is still slightly behind us "Dawson?" I turn towards her seeing her nod confirming to me that these two are in fact Detective Antonio Dawson's teenagers. "fuck man," "yup that's what he'll be saying," We laughed slightly despite the fact it's not a laughing matter. That's the best thing about being best friends with someone you can take anything and make it laughable.

Kim and I became close two years ago when I transferred up to the intelligence unit from homicide, robbery. She was feeling the void of the sudden departure of Erin Lindsay, I never had many girlfriends honestly never saw the need. Till I found myself needing a bigger apartment after my younger brother Tyler cane to live with me. He wasn't getting along with his parents our mom Cali and his dad Detroit. Tyler is technically my half brother my dad was murdered when I was 13 in front of me. His death inspired me to study hard so I could become a detective and help others who were feeling the pain, anger and injustice after a robbery or murder. I spent every summer in science camp studying hard so I could get into a top college to get a degree in forensic science. That left little time for making friends or having a social life, I learned to close myself off from everyone including my mom who was stressed trying to raise myself and my three brothers Marshall, Robert and Jamie, while working a stressful job as a College Professor at Knox College.

It wasn't till I was in college that I actually took the time to really talk to my mom to see how stressed she was, she had been battling a range of emotions since my dad's death.

Going from grief over the loss of her husband to relief because even though she had lost her soul mate the love of her life, my dad wasn't always the saint everyone wants to make the dead out of, he had anger issues, he was an alcoholic. When the two were combined he lost control taking it out on my mom, when we made too much noise during his games he took it out on us, I always stepped up to protect my brothers. Which killed my mom knowing she couldn't protect us, she was too afraid to leave, because he put fear into her, telling her she could never make it on her own, she wasn't strong enough smart enough. Than the next day he'd bring home roses, chocolates he would make reservations at the best restaurants for all of us, he'd pay is tickets to our favorite games, concerts promising he'd change.

He never did of course, which lead to her confusion. His death gave her the escape she needed and craved for so long, which made her feel guilty because for his faults he wasn't a monster, he was human with flaws, he was her husband and our father and we loved him craved his attention and pride. Now we were left with just broken dreams, unanswered questions and the feeling that no matter what we did in life or where we went we would never be completely safe. If our dad Devon who was born in England, who came to America at just 16 years of age with only his bare hands, strong work ethic and a pocket full of dreams could be murdered than how were any of safe?

Our dad was 6'10 he weighed 220 pounds he worked out everyday I know because he would get us kids up at the crack of dawn everyday to go running with him in or neighborhood of Wrigleyville he would point out to us all the historic facts, history lessons became a love/ hate relationship between all of us kids. He loved history always wished he would have had the money to go to college and get a teaching degree, instead he ended up working as a grounds keeper at Wrigley field. Everyone knew him as Devon the bear because he was always clowning around at work he even went over board and brought a bear costume which he wore to work every summer, fall and spring during baseball season, the kids loved it, they would all run up hug him, ask for pictures. He never refused a kid. So if someone could murder him, how were any of us safe?

Once I was in college I started to feel better I felt good knowing I was doing something to bring a little justice to this world, to try to make a difference. I started to have friends, date, my first serious boyfriend Jake got me to open up to cry to share my feelings which I had never shared with anyone before. He got me into boxing which felt great punching things letting out my anger. It made me understand all these years my mom had no one, so I spent months convincing her she needed to start to date, to be happy that she had that right. Jamie and I even went and set her up on one of those online dating services. She wanted to kill us both even after she met Detroit who it turned out was also a professor at her college, they hit it off dated for two years, then she found out she was pregnant.

Tyler was born in March of 2004 my junior year of college since my mom and step-dad had both been amazing at saving money they took a year sabbatical and traveled to Africa as missionaries where they fell in love with helping people, they ended up taking full time jobs as teachers over in one of the larger villages there.

Two years ago Tyler expressed that he wanted to experience life as a normal teenager so I agreed to take custody of him. At first it was an adjustment I never had my own kids barely even babysat, I was just starting in this unit, he's a teen which is hard enough when you've raised them since kids, we barely knew each other, yet we've made it work.

Once he came to live with me though I needed a bigger place so Kim and I decided that since she was caring for her sister Nicole who had been sexually assaulted, plus her niece Zoe, we would get a bigger place together. It's been amazing Zoe has become Tyler's best friend she's taken him under her ropes, they spend almost all their time together she's introduced him to her friends including Violet Jordan, Matthew Casey's niece.

Raising Tyler has taught me to take time to appreciate life's little moments, to laugh to keep my eyes always open, it's also taught me how precious love is, he's only 14 he has so much to learn to experience and he's eager to do it all. Just last month I took him shopping for a tux because he was going to his first semi formal school dance with a girl he really liked Violet. He was so nervous so full of self doubt, anxiety, Matt and I made a double date out of it he took Tyler aside and taught him everything a teenage boy needed to know like it was normal to be nervous, to have anxiety yet it was okay to also allow yourself to explore yourself to get to know what makes you special. He reminded Tyler that most kids his age can't speak Arabic, French and English, Swahil. This made Tyler grin he came up with the idea of making a mini video of pictures and videos of the two of them, he wanted to include as many sayings of friendship in each language that he spoke as a way to break the ice, because I told him she was just as nervous all teen girls always are when they like a boy who they aren't sure likes them back.

Matt gave him a safe place to talk to ask questions I couldn't answer, he let him know that being a guy was tough he would face pressure and bullying if he wasn't part of the in crowd but at the end of the day he had to stay true to himself to his values, morals otherwise he would always regret it. He also made sure Tyler would always respect girls and knew what No means.

After Tyler was asleep Matt and I stayed up talking sipping wine which lead to us kissing, he is the first guy I have felt romantic feelings for in a while.

Now as I am chasing these three kids I wonder what went wrong why they felt it was okay to beat another teen nearly to death to tie him to a pole under the train tracks. What had he possibly said or done in his young life that was worth this fate?

Why were Antonio's kids even involved? I know he's taught them right from wrong, he's a good cop a good man, I never heard of his kids being in any trouble, he always brags about how smart they are straight A students, they volunteer at homeless shelters, save money to give to children's charity, he taught them two basic rules.

Never run from the cops

Never resist arrest

"CPD Freeze! Stop running pull your hands out of your pockets!" None of the kids stopped Diego did look back at us, I saw tears built up he was afraid, which made me afraid because I knew for sure now he was more involved than I suspected. Fear can be a crippling factor it can tense every muscle ever fiber in your body making you motionless, speechless, or it can motivate you to run for your very life.

Fear motivates me to keep going even if every step hurts my already blistering feet, pulls at every muscle in my legs. Makes my chest burn from lack of oxygen fear makes me fight harder because even though I am afraid for my life knowing that at any moment one of these suspects could pull out a gun and shoot me, even though I could get hit by a car on a high speed chase on foot like this.

I can't stop because somewhere out there is someone else who is even more afraid someone who has been hurt, raped, shot or stabbed someone innocent. They don't have the power to arrest and bring their assailant to justice, but I do I took an oath to serve to protect, that's what I will do to my last breath on earth.

I'm not afraid for just myself though, no I understand this is the life I have chosen, I will always proudly wear my blues in respect to Chicago to it's citizens. I am afraid now because I know what I have to lose, I have my mom's face on her wedding day to Detroit when she stood in front of her family, friends, former and current students, to profess her love for the man who gave her new life. I have the look on Detroit face as he welcomed my baby brother into this world, when he stood up at my college graduation party and gave a speech about how proud he was of me for taking my tragedy and making something positive out of it. I have the Medal of Valor that his son Officer Mitchel German was given in 2000 when he was shot and killed in the line of duty only three weeks into his patrol, it's a reminder to me that good men & women will always be there to risk their lives even for those who spit on us curse us or laugh at us.

I have Tyler's face engraved into my mind the first moment he saw Chicago's skyline he's had never seen an American City with his own eyes before. I have memories I don't want to lose I have promises I want to keep promises of new memories I can't wait to make.

Part of me wants to stop running to turn around to go about my life and know I can make those memories, I can keep those promises to Tyler to my parents, I can't stop though because I took an oath one I take very seriously, besides as afraid as I am, that boy laying on the side walk who maybe breathing his last breath he is even more afraid.

"Bang," I hear the gun shot I never see where the bullet goes we're running way too fast now, cars are whizzing by us, almost colliding with us, each other, many are honking angrily. I see the kid pass the gun to Diego who looks at it with fear, he looks back his eyes are wide with fear, what is he seeing? Was someone shot? I look back instantly filled with fear was it Kim or Erin? No their still running along side of me and behind me, Kim's eyes have the same fear though, why? Grabbing my radio I radio again. Where the hell is our backup?

"10-15 shots fired at plain clothes officers requesting backup at 909 Belmont Ave," Diego tossed the gun into a garbage bin. "Dispatch this is Detective Upton suspect has tossed a weapon into a garbage dumpster outside of the city suits hotel," My vision suddenly swims badly my legs feel heavy, my arms burn, everything became hot way too hot like a white flash has taken residency inside my body. My chest screamed in agony, I start coughing gasping for air which I can't seem to find, I feel liquid hot as fire pour out of my mouth, I can't stop it the lava oozes out of my throat past my lips to coat my hand a bright red. Blood. Why am I coughing up blood? Why can't I stop it?

My legs twist spasm before I can control my actions they give out my body crashes into the metal garbage can before slamming into the cold dirty sidewalk. A new wave or realization hits me hard the fear everyone had in their eyes moments before was because I was shot. My hand tries to find the wound before I can though I feel Erin's hands on my stomach I hear her voice laced in fear, pain and anger scream at Burgess. "Call it in!" I can see Burgess fumble with her radio as she stops kneeling beside me.

"Dispatch this is officer Burgess we have shots fired at plain clothes police officers, Officer is down, need a ambo to 911 Belmont Ave hurry!" Erin rips open my shirt I can see the blood already pouring over her hands. "Get blankets Burgess she's losing too much blood she'll go into shock, hurry" I can feel Burgess breath hitch, I can hear her feet turning gravel as she takes off but my vision is compromised I can no longer see. "Stay with me Upton, stay with me," cold I am so cold, I can't speak I can't feel much now just cold, people rush past us not stopping to help some even spit at us, I hear Erin curse, I feel her tears fall onto my chest. she's afraid, if she's afraid I know it's bad. Erin is a bad ass, she never shows fear or weakness.

I see a rat haul ass back into the sewer all I can think about was what a crappy place this is to die, death if I die what happens to Tyler? My eye lids are growing heavy I can feel the blankets being wrapped around me. Kim is back grabbing for her hand, I feel her squeeze it. "Kim." I can barely breath barely get the words out, I have to though. "Hailey don't strain yourself," "Kim you have to watch Tyler, take him, I made you his legal guardian, make sure he knows, I" I can't talk blood has chocked me I cough I feel her hand lift my head turn it to the side where I puke out more blood, I can't keep my eyes open, but I can talk again. 'Make sure he knows I love him, I'm sorry,"

"Hang on Hailey please hang on," Kim is screaming, crying I want to I really do I can't.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7: Lights, Sirens**

 **P O V: Erin Lindsay**

"Dear God, watch over all policemen and law enforcement officers everywhere. Protect us from harm in the performance of our duty to stop crime, robbery, riots and violence. We pray, help us keep our streets and homes safe, day and night. We commend ourselves to your loving care, because our duty is dangerous. Grant us the strength and courage in our daily assignments. Dear God, protect us, Unite us safely with our families after duty has ended. Amen."

Everyday before we go out to these streets my fellow officers, I gather in the locker rooms before our shift starts we hold hands we put aside any personal differences we have with each other, we pray. Why? It's not because we're all deeply religious honestly I have a very shaky relationship with the almighty. We do it because we know that every call we answer has the very real potential to be our last. We wake up the same as anybody else each morning we put on our uniform or our suits if we are lucky enough to have reached a level beyond patrol. We kiss our spouses if we are lucky enough to have one, we ruffle our kids heads, tease them about the boy or girl they like nag them about homework, we take our dogs out or shoo the cat off our morning paper. We sip our coffee and make plans for dinner.

Than our day takes a different turn we don't just head to an office for a day of paperwork or stock trade, we put our hostlers on, we shine our shields, we strap our radios on and if need be we gear up in tactical gear, because unlike your stockbroker, your real estate agent, your local food server. We knock on doors not knowing what or who is behind them. We confront and arrest murderers, rapists, robbers, and pedophiles. Our lives are constantly putting on the line for the safety of others.

In the USA there are 900,000 sworn police officers to protect 325.7 million people on average 151 officers are killed in the line of duty every year. I've lost many good friends in my career. "Hailey stay with me," I hold back my tears a war of emotions raging inside of me as Shay and Foster race to the scene, the young man is already on their stretcher, but they won't turn us away there is a flurry of activity. Shay has taken charge yelling out orders to Foster, the boy is moved, his head restrained by the neck brace but he's mobile, he takes a seat on the side of the wall. "Strap her to the gurney, get the other headboard. She's fading fast we need to move," I don't let go of her wound which is pouring out blood faster than I can soak it up with the towels, scarlet red has stained my hands, her breathing is labored she's lost consciousness.

"BP is dropping Foster get me as many hemostatic gauze's as you can find we need to pack this wound," Shay looks around and yells for Kim to pass her the jacket she had discarded when she had gotten hot earlier. She quickly ties it around Hailey's waist using it as a tourniquet to hold the gauze's in place. She's sweating I can tell every part of her is aching, I know not just by the look of pain on twisted facial features, or the grunts she's giving but because I am hurting, my shoulders ache, my arms are shaking. We are not superhero's we are humans we ache, we hurt, we bleed just like you do.

"Breathing is shallow she's in respiratory distress we need to decompress foster you drive, I' I'll make this call," Foster nods fear in her eyes as she jumps out slamming the doors as Shay grabs the needle she needs, "I need to drain the fluids in her lungs it's causing her lungs to collapse," I nod moving to give her room to work. She's hooked to two IV's already as well as the monitor. "Foster I can't stress this enough fly time isn't on our side, I need you to go full code 3 lights, sirens,"

Hailey gasps as Shay successfully decompresses her eyes are focused her hands steady I'm not sure how she does it with a vehicle that is flying at speeds that are illegal for normal people. There isn't much I can right now I am afraid, I am sickened that this has happened again. I know Shay feels my fear. "Pray Erin it's all we can right now, turn it over to God,"

So I do I lift my eyes to the heaven's tears slowly falling as I feel my breathing steady. "Heavenly Father, Please be with our colleague who has been injured whilst on duty. Lord in your mercy,  
Hear our prayer. Bless the work of the nurses and doctors, paramedics who are treating her.  
Lord in your mercy, Hear our prayer. Bring your healing into her body, come restore her fully.  
Lord in your mercy, Hear our prayer. Be with her family, comfort them and keep them in her absence.  
Lord in your mercy, Hear our prayer. May she know that she has served well and grant her peace of mind and heart. Lord in your great mercy, Hear our prayer. Amen."

Foster's speed gets us to Chicago Med in a total of three minutes and twenty seconds, but is it in time? Dr. Ava Bekker and Dr. Conner Rhodes quickly grab the stretcher as we pull up along with several nurses, my vision is still dancing as I feel Kim grab my arm where did she even come from? Why is she comforting me? shouldn't it be the other way around? She's her best friend.

I'm not sure how we make it to the waiting room or how long we are even there I know the rest of our team arrives along with 51, and many other police officers, so many that the room can't even hold them all. I feel Gabriela, Shay, Emily all come by me. I feel Jay sit next to me his hand rubs my back, I can't swallow, I can't talk. I don't need to though he just wraps his arms around me, "She's strong she has a reason to fight," He doesn't offer me promises he knows he can't control what happens only the doctors can, god. What he offers me is comfort understanding despite the face he hates me right now, he has every reason. I took off to New York two years ago on the night he wanted to propose to me. I never gave him a reason never called, wrote or made an effort to contact him.

Than I came back in May when I heard about Al, I came for his wife to pay my respects because she helped raise me since I was 14, when Hank took me in, I came because she had already lost her daughter now her husband. I came for Hank who had lost so much already, Camille his wife, his son Justin. I came because I needed to I wanted to, not for Jay or because of Jay. I stayed because Hank asked me to. I paid my dues, I'm not sure how Hank got me reinstated I don't ask questions. He gives me no answers he knows that if he needs me I will do anything for him even risk jail time.

Jay has spent months giving me evil eyes, grunting when I enter the room even snarling at me, I rather those though than the times he stands there confused wordlessly staring like a puppy who's been kicked in it's tummy too many times.

Getting up I shake him off I can't let him think he has a shot now, no matter how much I am hurting. I won't bring it to him, he doesn't need my baggage. I didn't leave New York or the FBI simply for them, I left because I let the job become too personal again, I blew it again, this time it didn't just almost cost me my job but my life.

My boss told me to take leave to find my serenity my calm, that's home Chicago, my family, friends. Hank comes to stand beside me his arm around my shoulder. "Kiddo you did everything you could no matter what this isn't on you, I need you to not only know this but believe it, Erin I need your head in the game, things are going to get messy. Hailey she's one of ours, we all know what happens when you attack one of ours, Antonio's kids are up to their damn necks in this, IA will be all over us, we are going to go off the books, we will have to lie and do things we can't take back, can you handle this if not walk away now, no judgment, Erin I only care about you being able to live with yourself, I need you to be healthy mentally, spiritually, physically understand?' I can only nod as I see Dr. Rhodes coming towards us. Deep breath Erin in, out. I can't tune out the song that's playing on the radio as I turn to hear what Dr. Rhodes is about to tell us, is it a sign?

" **I** **n the arms of the angel** **s** **  
fly away from here  
from this dark cold ****world** **  
** **from the fear that holds you here**

 **It's okay to go if God is calling you home**

 **Will never forget the sacrifice you made**

 **You are our hero, you are the sister we all wish we had**

 **Tell me how heaven feels is it as beautiful as we picture?"**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 7: Officer Down**

 **P O V: Nicole Sliver**

"Zoe let's go talk to Violet later! Tyler pick up your shoes, you need to get moving school starts in twenty- two minutes, you have a fifteen minute walk!" Clapping my hands I let out a piercing whistle dropping two bagels into the toaster they have no time to eat here now.

Cracking eggs into the pan I start to dry up some potatoes the kids may have to eat on the run but there's no reason I have to. Hailey and Kim will be home soon they will be starving. I never sleep at night when they are on duty, I can't all I do is worry ever since Kim was shot two years ago. I'll never forget that day that call just as I was about to go to sleep.

Every day on the news you see a new story about police brutality, about hate towards the officers who put their lives on the line to save everyone regardless of their views on them. Reporters don't take the time to report facts, they twist words, they go for headlines not the truth. Their under surveillance more and more everyday given new rules, making it harder to do their jobs.

Glancing at the clock I see it's 6:45 they should be home soon. Great I can finally sleep! "It's a beautiful day mom," Zoe's voice startles me looking down I see her beautiful smile god she's growing up so fast. I'm thankfully for everyday I am here and I get to see grow learn and prosper. I almost lost her four years ago, I don't take any day for-granted now.

"Ugly ass bird though dude," Tyler comes up tossing a baseball as he pops his gum I glance out the window and almost have a damn heart attack staring right through our window is one of the hugest black raven's I have ever seen, he's staring at me sending chills running through my whole body. "Raven of death creepy," Tyler grins he really is turning into the all American boy. "Can I go with Jack and Diego after school to work on my batting?" "Well you'll have to check with your sister when she comes home but as long as you get your homework done, I have no issues with it, just be home for dinner, Kim and Hailey are off tonight, I want us to have a family dinner," "Sounds cool thanks Aunt Nicole,"

I say a quick prayer for their safety as I spread cream cheese and jam on their bagels getting out orange juice to pour into their thermals. "Relax mom aunt Kim is a bad ass ain't no bullet gonna take her down," My daughter so precious so innocent she always has looked up to her aunt. I would rather her look up to the police, to firefighters, to paramedics as hero's instead of caped superhero's created to provide unrealistic expectations of kids.

I just can't have the same image in my head that she does because she was too young last time to see her aunt laying in that hospital bed with gauze over her shoulder, I wasn't I can still see how pale Kim was. Kissing the kids as they groan their simply to old to be mothered. I watch them as they head out arguing over some movie. It's silent outside not even the wind is blowing, the sun is shining. The kids freeze, a bagel drops, I hear them gasp I hear the sirens before I see them. Racing to the doors I can't swallow my heart beat is rapid, I am going to cry.

"Not Kim please god no not Kim," Maybe their going down the street, there's three other officers who live on this street. My head hurts though, my fear is crippling as I race forward seeing other neighbors all standing outside their homes, many with kids, a few have taken off their hats and are holding it in front of their waists.

The sirens approach fast, loud their brightness hurts my eyes, suddenly they are in front of us. Sargent Hank Voight gets out along with Erin Lindsay. Kim where is she? I can feel Zoe slip her hand into mine, she's afraid. I want to comfort her provide her with reassurance like a mother is suppose to. I can't. All I can think about was what were my last words to Kim? Why can't I remember? Hank walks in front of us looking solemn. They kneel in front of us my vision is dancing a little I see Erin take Tyler's hands, I hear him gasp. It dawns on me my heart breaks because I know now, it's not my sister who's never coming home again. It's his. Sweet innocent brave 14 year old Tyler Abbandonato who came to America to get his American dream, he's now lost his whole world.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

 **P O V: Sylvie Brett**

"How ya doin' kiddo?" opening my eyes I see both Herrman's sitting on my side along with Gabby, Mouch, Matt, Emily. Sunlight is now streaming through the windows my whole body is aching, my throat still burns. My breathing is still labored, so I have no clue how to answer Herrman's question. I don't want them to worry, yet they will know if I am lying. Matt comes over squeezing my hand his voice is soft as he whispers. "You don't have to answer, I understand," I smile grateful he gets it.

I can see Cindy has been crying I hope it's not because of me, Mouch looks torn as well. Gabby rubs my leg smiling she looks pale, her eyes are red. "Sylvie whatever you need we are here for you," struggling to get up she opens her arms to me, I settle myself inside of them.

Herrman is angry I can see it in his face in the fact he keeps clenching and un-clentching his fists. I want to offer some sort of reassurance to him that I will be okay. "Herrman," my throat hurts to speak but I keep going. "I'm not doing great right now but I will be I need you to know that, I need you guys to stop feeling sorry for me,"

He comes over taking my hands there are tears in his eyes he never cries what the heck? "Good kid because we can't lose you to," Lose me? Too? What's he talking about? I look at him as Gabby hisses kicking his leg just as Cindy slaps the back of his head. "Ow what the oh shit," "Lose me? Who else did we lose? What happened?" Gabby sighs "Sweetie you need to rest," I'm angry now "Don't baby me, did someone I know die? Who?" She looks at me than Mouch before Matt, I see the redness in his eyes. "Hailey was killed in the line of duty today babe," My chest squeezes tight I can't focus I quickly grab Matt's hand he lost so many people he cares about already. "I'm sorry Matt, truly if there was something I could do for you, name it, I will," "Focus on beating this cancer Sylvie mental awareness and positive attitudes go a long way."

We don't get a chance to say anything else because a doctor enters my room. "Good Morning everyone I am Dr. Jefferson, Dr. Manning has referred your case to me, I'm going to get right to the point, your a very sick young women, you need aggressive chemo straight away, the chances of your baby's survival is dismal, while I can't tell you to abort it, I can tell you to put it through Chemo is cruel and will set it up for a lifetime of developmental issues. Your young Sylvia, so don't be dramatic when I tell you this but you can have other kids some point down the line if you survive,"

I'm speechless at how rude this doctor is how ignorant and cold. I feel Emily squeeze my hand both of us holding our breaths as we see Herrman rise from his seat, Kelly and Matt quickly back him up. "You want drama asshole? First off her name is Sylvie not Sylvia, second off you better take your unprofessional ass out of this room before I kick it it back to med school because you obviously skipped basic humanity 101. Oh and you better believe asshole I'll be reporting you to Sharon Goodwin,"

I'm thankful Antonio isn't there he has enough to deal with right now. I can't breathe right my body is trembling. I feel Gabby enclose me as she kicks everyone out to give me privacy. I just want to get out of here and go home. When we're alone the damn starts to break a little. "Is this a cruel joke Gabby?" "What do you mean babe?" "I mean all these years I said I didn't want kids even a few hours ago, now the choice is taken away from me? Is this God's way of saying be-careful what you wish for?"

"No babe I don't believe that for a second, I think you are exhausted. I think you need a good shower, sleep and food, time to think research." she kissed my check as she rubbed my hair. "close your eyes angel rest I'll go talk to Natalie and see about getting you out of here."

Dr. Manning came in a few minutes later with Gabby behind her along with the rest of the crew sitting up I brace myself for whatever she has to say. "So I take it you didn't like Dr. Jefferson, not too shocked, I will keep checking for oncologists, I suggest you do the same when you get home. I will warn you though Sylvie, time is of the essence for you, treatment needs to start this week." I voice the question I have been wondering since she told me I had cancer hours earlier. "What was the percentage of blasts in my marrow?" I can tell by her sigh and delay in answering it's bad "85%" "Has the cancer spread?" "Yes to your chest, spinal fluid, spleen" "We need to talk about a backup plan if you decide to do chemo and it doesn't work or you relapse, we need to talk about a possible stem cell transplant,"

"I'm adopted. I don't have a twin or any siblings. I know a twin would be a perfect match,"

"Yes that would be ideal Sylvie but we have had success with non related donors so I would advise everyone who can be tested get tested."

"What about Sam," Matt asked "Well he would be a great match but he's three he's been through enough with Brent, besides he was created with the purpose of being Brent's donor if Brent should get sick again, he would be needed for him."

I squeezed Matt's hand "I wouldn't accept Sam being a donor he's too young. I can hold on till we have a match for me, let Sam be a kid."

"Don't make promises you can't keep Sylvie," "I'm not Matt. I have faith no matter what happens. I'll be okay, why don't we pray, thank you Natalie you gave us a lot to think about,"

"I want to be tested! Me too! Sign me up!" I was amazed by the out pouring of love from my friends, coworkers. Gabby took my hand and bowed her head in prayer. How could God ignore me with so many of my loved ones praying for me?


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

 **P O V: Gabriela Dawson**

"Mommy!" Brent's voice fills my ears he's almost running with excitement at seeing me except his heavy backpack prevents him from running too fast. I feel my whole body light up as I see my little dude being so energetic. Sylvie, Matt, I are sitting on the bench outside the kids school. Brent's kindergarten class is slowly streaming out along with the other lower level classes. His teacher Miss. Tate is holding his hand she flashes me a smile "Hey baby how was your day?" "Awesome Mommy! We learnt how to write a poem, I got homework mommy!" Gasping in mock horror and surprise I cover my mouth his giggles filled the air. "You do chiquitio?" "Si' momma," "What do you have baby nene," he bit his lip in confusion, frustration. I look to Miss. Tate who ruffles his blond hair. "He has to write a poem/song using each letter of his name as the starting phrase for each bar, it can be just his first name or his whole name,"

"Sounds fun, this kid loves music thanks to someone singing to him every night," I called over my shoulder to Sylvie who grinned waving her hand as a your welcome sign. His lower lip quivered "Why can't I member mommy?" kneeling down by him I took his hands into mine. "Sweetie we've talked about this it's because the medicine you had to take effected your memory, that's why you see Mr. Alex three times a week, so you can get better,"

"Can he make me less stupid? Because this sucks!" My heart broke as he stomped his foot "Love you aren't stupid," "Yes I am! All the kids think so! They all make fun of me because I am slower," I looked to Miss. Tate who shrugged looking very concerned. "Yo' Baby Nene," I looked up to see Shay's nine year old son Cashel who we call Cash come up holding Sam's hand. "I told ya before buddy if anyone makes fun of you send them my way, I'll take care of them losers,"

I hate seeing my son suffer I had no idea he was being bullied I want to get names and go crazy on those parents, but I know it won't help in the long run I can't go to school with him, Cash can however so I am glad he's looking out for him.I just want him to start to lead a normal life to leave cancer and it's painful past behind him. Even though he's been in remission for two years he suffers cognitive issues. Doctors call it Chemo brain he has attention issues, dyslexia, long term retention issues, we started him with a therapist when he was two Mr. Alex who is phenomenal he's helped him come so far in the last three years. He still has a long way to go but every time he completes a milestone to me and to Matt it's an accomplishment we were afraid he would never see.

"Will bring your sheet to Mr. Alex today we have to see him after your appointment with Dr. Renee today," "Yeah I remember mommy but can't Aunt Sylvie help me? She's really talented with music, I really want to write a song." "Well baby why don't you ask Aunt Sylvie in the car?" "Alright I can do that mommy."

Matt strapped both boys into their seats as Sylvie sat between them, Cash in the very back Matt next to me up front. "Aunt Sylvie can you please help me with my homework?" His little voice was precious to me he has a lisp due to the high dosage of Chemo he had received the last time, he suffered hearing loss which effected his speech he's been seeing a Speech Pathology over the last two years, Mrs. Laura is amazing but all I want is for him to be healthy, happy to grow up with every chance to be the brightest, best.

Dr. Rene's office is located on the Children's Campus of Chicago Med called the South Campus in a mix of newly modernized, renovated buildings all beautiful decorated with the latest equipment/ technology. As usual her office was packed walking inside the building Brent instantly lite up waving at all the staff members who have become family to him. "Hi Nurse Cali, Hi nurse Jenna! Hi Dr. Reva!" Each staff member instantly smiled at him kneeling down to his level all replying "Hey buddy how are you? How's school? Wow you've gotten so big! No way this can't be Mr. Brent Dawson-Casey can it be?" his giggle filled the air making everyone stop and smile, "It is! It is me see mommy I told you I grew!" "Yes baby you sure did."

Sylvie tapped my shoulder pointing to one of the rooms to the side her office is divided into several sections when you walk in there's an impressive lobby of multi color neon tiles, floor to ceiling oak beams, each decorated as amazing kid painted murals. Bright enclosed lighting fixtures, double pained windows which are stained glass painted by former and current patients. The reception desk is bright purple/ pink it's decorated like a 50's cafe. The nurse's all wear scrubs that are 50's themed pink and black, records, sock hops, malts, rock n roll.

This office is more than just an office it's a center a home away from home, music is played through the state of the art system, the left side is for kids from infancy to 13 years of age, three rooms are for kids who are currently on Chemo, Radiation, who's immune system is weakened or compromised, three other rooms are for healthy kids who are in remission and here for checks ups. Sylvie has grabbed a mask since she is still sneezing coughing and dealing with a sore throat, she's sitting on the floor with the kids, a play area is in each. The right side is the same setup but for kids 13-21.

There's two hallways for exam rooms one on each side both have twenty four rooms each room have HEPA-filtered private rooms and bathrooms to help prevent infection, along with activity areas, consult rooms and family lounges. There are consult rooms, a teen lounge, a family lounge, specially pressurized rooms for patient safety and check-out scheduling stations. The building has a separate elevator and pathway straight to the Children's oncology units in Med. Plus, the outpatient clinic provides scheduling for all exams and appointments, which ensures continuity during a patient's entire outpatient visit. All inpatient and infusion rooms have an Xbox or Nintendo Wii to help pass the time and make the hospital stay a little more fun. The Procedure Clinic is opened seven days a week to inpatients and outpatients. Pediatric anesthesiologists administer anesthesia to minimize pain and anxiety associated with bone marrow aspirates and lumbar punctures. This clinic's outpatient location greatly improves efficiency and satisfaction of patients and their families. An Infusion Center is part of the outpatient clinic with private rooms and comfortable infusion chairs, multiple entertainment options, creative therapies and room service for meals.

"What word can you think of that starts with B?" Sylvie asked grabbing a pen and paper as Brent thought about all the words he knew starting with B. "Write them down and will chose the best of the best-est," She tickles his tummy which gets him laughing. "Boy, But that's lame like Butt jokes," He laughed again.

"Barn, Balloon, Brave, Baggage, band," his little face scrunched up his body tensed which worried me he takes things so seriously he is so hard on himself, I hate seeing him put pressure on himself like this. My eyes went to Matt and Sam who are playing Trucks on the floor crashing them together laughing. Such differences between the two boys Sam is so silly always up for a good time he enjoys fart jokes, racing bikes, climbing every damn surface possible even things he has no business climbing. Basketball, baseball, football, running he is super active and loves being outside.

He's sweet yet naughty just like his dad he lives to prank people, while Brent is more withdrawn he loves music, reading, putting on plays for us, he has never been able to play sports due to his bleeding issues, so he's learned to entertain himself, video games, creating his own Cyber world. Cooking has become a passion that him, I share. With his dad they enjoy fishing, building things, he loves to help his dad at his construction sites.

"Dang boy you are a beast you got this see you don't need my help," She tickles him laughing kissing his check. "Beast! You are a genius Auntie!" "Aw thanks babe I try." filled with excitement he dropped his pen twice as he bounced in her lap his eyes lit up. "Okay how is this Auntie?"

"Beast that's what I am lyrically, spiritually, physically, mentally, a warrior all I need is the

Right beat watch me move my lips cuz I'm magic on the mic."

Sylvie rubs his back as he taps his pen against his paper.

"Every ear will rock to my spit, your welcome son, I know I'm swag no praise needed, thank you

Next step up you can't match my flow, I'll leave you crying

Broke counting my dollars as I achieve all I've

Reached for taking you on a tour of my

Oh so fancy dreams turned reality cuz some people were born for the spotlight

Ops they were talking about me

Kicking it like my feet watch these fires of flame

Laying all these tracks so sweet putting my hometown Chicago on this rap map

Nah ya can't catch me now, I ain't mad, boy I'm laughing

Dancing with glee filling stadiums,

Aw you wanna be like me?

Watch me, learn how I do me

Sorry you can't stop greatness

Others tell me I was born to inspire, invoke desire

Now I take this seriously it's an honor

Carpi I dedicate this to you my cancer

Angel sister in this war who's watching over me gone too soon

See she was only three when god called her home

Ewing sarcoma took her body from this earth

Spirit and hope is what she left us with her legacy

You may wonder how we keep going when death has touched me so many times"

He seems stuck now. Sylvie smiles as she starts to sing filling the room with the sweetest, most gorgeous sound. Better than any current song on the radio. Anybody who wasn't already listening is now glued to their seats ears turned to her as she sung softly projecting outwards so her voice was lifted to the heavens.

"What else can I do? I didn't chose this fight, the battle darkened my door

Now I have to chose to look to the bright side or let the storm wash me away.

Mamma didn't raise a quitter, nope I am nothing but a winner,"

Brent grinned as he finished off the song. "Brent Brooklyn Dawson-Casey is who I am,"

Twenty minutes later we sat in the exam room while Dr. Renee examined Brent who was talking a mile a minute. Sylvie was half asleep in Matt's lap there were only two chairs so I took one while Matt had taken the other to hold Sam who had long since squirmed out to play on the floor with Cash, leaving Sylvie who was growing more, more weakened to crawl onto Matt's lap.

"Ready for your happy juice Brent?" "Yuck nope, but I know I have to," he made a face as Dr. Renee slipped on the oxygen mask which contained Anesthesia within seconds he was laying on his side while I held his hand, rubbing it trying to control my tears. Matt rubbed my shoulder squeezing it tightly. Dr. Renee was as quick as possible drilling the hole into his side to check his marrow. This would be our way of telling if there were any blasts in his marrow a sign of re-occurrence.

'He's a fighter Gabby, if we could all have his will power we'd be okay," I looked over to see how pale she was dark circles were under her eyes which looked bloodshot. She was looking worse than a few hours ago yet she was smiling squeezing my shoulder pushing herself off Matt's lap to come stand by me. Both of us clogged with emotion as we watched Dr. Renee drill into his tiny hip. I felt her wince as she held her own hip. "are you okay Sylvie? Are you still hurting from your bone marrow aspiration earlier?" "yea but I'll be okay, this isn't about me right now."

She has to be the sweetest most compassionate human being ever. Once the producer was done she cleaned him up sending the tubes down to the lab for testing which would take a few weeks to get the results back.

Brent would have to lay like this for an hour till he was fully awake sitting up talking and eating before he could go home. "Least he got to sleep," She yawned rubbing her side which was red, bruised badly. "Does it itch? Hurt?" "No, Yes just really tired so tired, I feel like I can barely stand," Matt leaped up grabbing her "You need to sit Sylvie," 'cold so cold, achoo" he nodded at me to grab blankets as she sneezed three more times. Nurse Kayla gratefully grabbed blankets for me. Once we wrapped her up Matt lifted her up into his lap within minutes she was half asleep, "Don't know why I am so tired, slept all afternoon," "Babe you have leukemia your red cells aren't producing enough to keep you energized or warm, their crowding your marrow," she never answered because she was already passed out.

Even twenty minutes later when Brent was awake, when Dr. Rene came back with his blood work to reveal his CBC looked excellent Sylvie did not stir. Relief flooded me as she told us he was growing normally his vitals were normal, he was right on schedule. I didn't have time to stop myself from crying. Getting on her knees she took my hand as Matt tried to rub my back. I couldn't get air as all my emotions clogged my throat.

"Mamma?" Sam's innocent eyes looked up from the wall hearing me sniffle instantly he wobbled over hugging my leg. "No cry Mommy, no cry it's okay," this made me cry harder as I heard Matt tell Dr. Rene about Sylvie's illness. I was just getting good news about my son now my best friend was fighting for her life. When would this end? When do we get our rainbow? How many storms does God think I can weather before I break?

Giving me a bottle of water Dr. Renee held my hand as I cried when I manged to pull myself together I looked into her eyes seeing the same fire I saw four years ago when my son was given his Cancer sentence. "Gabriela I want you to listen to me, I won't stop till I find the best treatment for Sylvie, I normally don't treat adults unless it's a special case, Sylvie is that special case, I will search high, low for the best colleague to help me, we will not stop unless Sylvie tells me to, will get her home to you,"

Home what a sweet word, I longed to get all my loved ones under one roof to hold them tight and kick cancer out of our lives forever.

While she slept Dr. Renee gently drew blood to test her CBC again to see if there was any chance form earlier. Sylvie woke up vomiting three times while we waited for her results confused each time. I now had another problem explaining to my now angry five year old son why I never told him his aunt had the same illness he did.

Not an easy task at any time but given the face he had a headache, he was nausea and tired it was even more unpleasant. In the end I had to give in to ice cream for dinner for two weeks, an extra hour of TV and a promise to never lie again. "Head hurts mommy, kiss it, make the pain go away," I knew this battle was far from over when he felt better I would pay the real price.

"Gabby wake Sylvie up please," When Dr. Rene came in some time later I knew it was serious groggy she sat up I could tell she was nauseated by one shared look. "I'm cutting to the point guys Sylvie when you were in the ER early this morning, your white cell count was 13,00 normal count is 10,000 or less, now you are up to almost 15,000, you should be dead point blank, Sylvie you need to start Cytroreduction or you'll be dead within the next few days, this isn't optional. I bumped a patient tomorrow in the Am Sylvie you need to be there,"

She remained silent scared for her baby which she kept rubbing her hand across her stomach. We didn't say anything to her as we packed up heading out, Cash helped me with Sam while Matt wrapped his arm around Sylvie's waist. "Gabby? Matthew?" Who the hell was calling him Matthew? Spinning around I felt myself relax when I saw it was the parents of one of Brent's friends from his inpatient days Ryan Lucas is 6 years old, his parents Candy and Bar rushed over to us. "How are you? Oh my god so good to see you." "how are the kids?" the question was asked with a mixture of hope because every parent hopes their friends kids are doing well, fear because every parents of a cancer kid knows hope and fear can very easily cross paths within hours of each other. "Gabby, Matt we need to celebrate next month will be two years successfully they've been in remission,"

Everyone knows it's when they hit five years that the real celebration is honored after five years doctors considered you cured. Try telling that to a mom who has sat by her child's bedside held their hand after they've been so weakened from Chemo they couldn't even keep water down, try looking into your child's eyes when they ask why mommy why me? Try spending years begging screaming at god for him to spare your child. Now try telling them oh it's only two years, every day we get with our kids is a miracle to us a reason to celebrate.

So I don't correct her I smile agree and exchange numbers, she had just gotten a new phone of course so she lost all her contact info. "We should call Jayson's family isn't he around the same date as our boys?" There was that look that passed between Candy and Bar that made me shiver. "Oh dear you haven't heard?" "Heard what Candy?" "Gabby, Matt, Sylvie I am so sorry Jayson passed away last night,"

Cold shock froze my body I saw Brent look up I often wondered how much about death he understood, about how serious cancer was. The look of sadness in his eyes, his lyrics from earlier haunted my ears. "Carpi I dedicate this to you my cancer/ Angel sister in this war who's watching over me gone too soon

See she was only three when god called her home

Ewing sarcoma took her body from this earth

Spirit and hope is what she left us with her legacy

You may wonder how we keep going when death has touched me so many times" I know now he understands a lot more than any kid should, sometimes I think he understands more than I do. Maybe it's the innocence of being a child, I don't know. "I'm going to be sick," Sylvie covered her mouth rushing to the nearest nurse who gave her a basin seconds before she lost control. Her legs giving out as she crashed to the ground pain causing her to cry out. Quickly nurses helped get her onto a stretcher as someone grabbed Dr. Renee who ordered her to be rushed up to ICU.

Tears fell freely as I clutch Matt's hand's his eyes filled with fear both of us understanding just how dire Sylvie's condition had become and how quickly knowing the meaning of both. What it meant to her chances of making a full recovery.

Why was Cancer doing this to us? wasn't anyone free from it's ugly grasp? Grabbing Sylvie's hand I made a vow to myself to god, to Matt she wasn't going to fight this alone. "Call Shay ask her to pick up the kids, I'm not leaving Sylvie's side. I'm her legal guardian now, as long as she's unconscious. I have to make the medical choices,"

Matt kissed my head "There's no one I trust more with my sister's life," 51 is family we take care of each other we are brothers, sisters. It was evident because as soon as I called Shay she relayed the whole troupes to come down, taking shifts. Herrman lead us in a prayer as we waited for news.

Heavenly Father, we come before you with a  
solemn heart and in need of your intercession.  
We pray that the cancer that has come into our lives  
soon fades into a quick remission.

We believe in your capacity for miracles, and ask for this on 51's  
behalf. As we grow older, we know we become closer  
to the day you accept us back into your kingdom.  
We ask that you delay that holy union if it be your will.  
In your name we pray,

Amen.


	11. Chapter 11 Shattered

**Chapter 11: Shattered**

 **P O V: Matthew Casey**

Life isn't made up of monumental moments alone, sure we all have them, but to me it's fragmented shattered little pieces that when sewn together create one beautiful masterpiece even if it's incomplete. It's not one crack that causes a foundation to fall it's each crack that lead from that one crack.

One crack can be monumental in terms of leaving a footprint in your memory, like being eight years old who's hiding inside the closet with his older sister who has the phone in her hand prepared to call 911 if she hears the signal. Ears covered as his dad screams at his mom pounding her face with his fist. Fast forward his sister leaving for collage leaving him alone to deal with this madness he calls family.

The last crack a 15 year old leaving the keys to his dad's place on the counter while he falls to sleep in his room. His mom taking the keys along with the gun that plants the bullet inside your dad's chest. Your sister taking his side while you are left alone confused and scared.

Foster homes became my new home till I turned 18 years of age and was forced into my own. I built up walls to keep the pain hidden but even perfectly crafted these walls can crack. "Matt," Dr. Manning's voice cuts through my thoughts, I'm on Sylvie's left side holding her hand as she lays in a coma. Gabby is on her right.

"Yes Natalie?" "Good news," her smile is radiant as she flips through medical papers, it's been almost a week since Sylvie slipped into a coma because of her high white cell count they've been pumping her full of Chemo, they have to go slow though with her pregnancy too much Chemo too fast can cause her to miscarriage. We've all been tested but so far no one has matched. Wiping the sleep from my eyes as I yawn I give my full attention to Natalie.

"Matt you are a perfect match for Sylvie, so perfectly Matt. There's no way you two aren't realted. We match based on human leukocyte antigen or HLA. Yours matches Sylive's perfectly. It never happens it's impossible in non realtions to get this ideal of a match. I know she was adopted dose she know anything about go biological parents? Because at least tests and it looks like you to all related, more than just related these tests point to you two being twins."

She laughs I can't bring myself to laugh though because the final blow to my foundation was just leveled. Someone has lied to me my whole life, nothing in my life had ever happened simply because it was destined to. When I look at Sylvie I can see it clearly the same strong jawline, the cute up turned nose, the dimples all family tributes.

I don't need a DNA test to tell me Sylvie is in fact my sister, or that someone has lied to me my whole life? Who though Mom? Dad? Did Christie know about this? Was I older than Sylvie? Why was she given up? I need answers, I need them now. Who do I start with? Well it can't be dad mom made sure of that one.

Gabby calls my name as I get up storming out of the room, where am I going? I don't know, all I know is I need answers and fast. I feel Kelly's strong hand on my shoulder. "Your not alone dude, let's go."


	12. Chapter 12 Family

**Chapter 12: Family**

 **P O V: Matt Casey**

"Yo dude chill," Severide chased me down after I stormed out of the room my mind was racing with a million and one thoughts, anger rushing through my blood. "Calm down for a minute Casey talk to me what's going on?" Breathe Matt, breathe shaking my arms out as I pace back and forth. I tried to slow my breathing down, the fast paced angry pants were making my neck and head squeeze tight.

"The test results came back Kelly, I am a near perfect match for Sylvie," His face lit up "Matt that's amazing, so what is the issue?" "Natalie said there is almost no way for that to happen for non-relations." His face showed confusion. "It means or I think it means that someone has been lying to me, Sylvie was adopted she doesn't know her biological parents, that means she must be my sister, but how by who?"

"Shit man that's deep, breathe Matt breathe" he tosses me a water which I gulp down. "Okay I get it your pissed but calm down before you charge after your mom, think logically man I get it your hopes are sky high, you miss having a sister your relationship with Christie is shit, you get along with Sylvie so this would be the perfect fit, but what are the real chances of you two being related?" "She has my chin, my family nose, those dimples," "Are you seeing reality or what your mind wants to see? You've known her for years, you never noticed these things before, why now?"

He made fairly good points pounding my back he squeezed my elbow. "Go back inside get some sleep, wait for Sylvie to wake up ask her for a DNA test, go from there." "This isn't going to be easy fuck, why is this happening?" "It isn't for us to know Matt, we may never know why the rain falls on the just and unjust, it may not be for us to know, that's why he is up there, at the end though this is good news, your a match Matt."

Right again I am a match that is what counts we headed back inside gulping down some more water. I return to Sylvie's room, she still remains unconscious no signs of waking up. Gabby rises to meet me her eyes questioning and worried. "No worries Severide talked me out of a jail sentence," She smiled sadly. "My mom is bringing Brent down she says he's been throwing a fit all day, he wants to see Sylvie he won't eat or do his homework unless he see's her, who wants to tell him he can't babe?" Great just want I want to do tell my five year old son he can't see the women who's saved his life countless times.

The ICU won't allow any kids under 13 inside to see the patients, it makes sense since kids are loud and won't stay still and the patients in that unit are really sick and need rest, it doesn't make it easy when you have to explain to a child why they can't see someone they love. Someone who has been apart of their daily lives since birth.

One look at Gabby I can see how exhausted and scared she is "I'll tell him," she relaxes a little "thank you my love," going over to her I hug her both of us stay in that hug for longer than what we probably should of. Being this close to her reminds me just how much I love her, why I fell for her in the first place. Her breath is warm against my check her heart flutters as I simply touch her warm check. "You don't have to be strong all the time Gabby, it's okay to not be okay,"

She remains silent just laying against my chest, I listen to her breathing. I curse myself silently for being so stupid stubborn to letting her go. Gently I rub her back hearing her sniffle, taking deep breaths. Wiping her tears I kiss her check "Matt..." Her voice is heavy as she looks up "Yes honey?" "I'm sorry about everything our fight leaving, for being so pig headed, I love you," her lips press against mine, for a moment I can't breathe or think all I can do is taste, inhale her delicious scent.

"Daddy's kissing mommy!" we break apart in record speed my head spinning why did she kiss me? Did she want to get back together? Was it just for comfort was she confused? My own breathing is hinged as I look up to see Shay and Brent standing there, Shay's eyes avoid looking at us our son however was filled with excitement great another bad thing I would have to break to him. Mommy and daddy are not getting back together.

Going over to them I hug Shay who squeezes me tighter she seems extra tired, she looks like she's lost weight. Brent holds open his arms for me grinning as I pick him up, almost as soon as he squeals a nurse looks over at us rushing towards us. "I'm sorry sir but there are absolutely no children under 13 allowed in here, we have very sick patients here, we have no time for children and their antics."

Shay ushers me out before I can respond however I wonder who's going to stop Gabby. She leads us to a conference room down the hall. "Daddy when can I see Aunt Sylvie? I have to show her our paper!" setting him down on the table I can't help but stare at my gorgeous son. His blond hair still sun soaked from the beach in summer time it's shining a brilliant distraction against the harsh lights of the hospital. His green eyes are sparkling in delight something I haven't seen associated with school in ages.

"What project dude?" 'This!" He holds up the English paper from a week ago that Sylvie and him had worked on in the doctors office. On the top is a big thumbs up with Miss. Tate's writing on top "Rocking To the Top 100%" she drew little musical notes on the bottom. Gasping I was filled with so much pride, "100 Brent that is amazing!" he held up his hand to high-five me. His smile went from ear to ear. "I am so proud of you son," "thanks dad, when can I tell Aunt Sylvie?" Now here comes the hard part. "Brent do you remember how we talked after aunt Sylvie fainted?" he nodded sitting up straighter "Yes you said she was sleeping that her body needed rest," "I did correct Brent well her body is still resting,"

He bit his lip trying to figure out how to ask the next question "What is making aunt Sylvie so sick dad is it the leukemia?" "Yes son but there is more, do you remember when you were three and you got rushed to the ICU?" he nodded sucking on the ice-pop Shay had come back with. "I had too many white cells, they called it leu-ko-cytes?" "That's correct, do you remember what happened how they treated it?" "yea high dose Chemo the yucky medicine that made me throw up,"

"That's correct their doing the same for aunt Sylvie but it's a little more complicated because Aunt Sylvie has a baby in her stomach, if they give her too much too fast her baby could miscarry," "Do you know what that means?" "he nods "it means her baby will go to heaven he will be God with Capri and Aunt Hailey," I am amazed again by my son's depth of understanding of death and his illness. "I miss Aunt Hailey, I hate that she died, I don't want Aunt Sylvie to die to,"

"That's why the doctors are trying so hard to do is to save her." "I get it daddy when the medicine works aunt Sylvie will wake up, I hope they hurry I need my aunts in my life," I couldn't agree more "do you have homework today buddy?" "Yes spelling uh," "Let's start buddy mommy will be out soon,"

He got out his work book as Shay got up to meet her son who was coming off the elevator. "You want anything Matt? Coffee, food?" "I'm alright right now thanks Shay, maybe something for little man," he shock his head "I'm good daddy thank you aunt Shay."

"Okay let's spell buddy," he handed me the paper and got out a clean sheet "Spell Rain," his hand went slow as his he thought about each letter. "Say them out loud if it helps "What was the word again daddy?" "Rain," he bit his lip it worried me he had so many issues trying to spell easy words like rain, yet he could remember a word like leukocytes.

Cancer I wanted to rip it out of the damn universe. For ten more minutes we worked on words like cat, fat, star, jar, clot, mop. I only looked up when I saw Gabriela and Dr. Rene come inside. Instantly I became worried, Shay came back along with Cashel. She took the boys to the far end of the room as Dr. Rene came over with Gabby who took my hands squeezing them, god she is ice cold.

"Matt, Gabby I am glad I caught you, I just got back the results of Brent's tests," her words stopped me cold. I had forgotten about them normally Gabby and I spend all week worrying fearing this week had been so crazy we haven't thought twice about it. I glance back at our son he looks so healthy so happy he has to be alright.

I can't tell by her voice or her mannerism what she is about to say, all I can do is pray silently closing my eyes. Which is funny because I have never been real religious. Growing up my family didn't go to church we didn't prey at night or before meals or at all. It wasn't till I met Gabby that praying even crossed my mind, her will power in god is inspiring we started going to church together when she became pregnant with Brent because she wanted him to have a base of faith. Still even she isn't as devoted as Herrman who after Brent was diagnosed with cancer and the same when Sylvie was first told, he went from cursing god one minute to threatening before falling to his knees asking for forgiveness, apologizing.

"I'm sorry guys but Brent's results show he is heading for a relapse. We're seeing Blasts in his bone marrow. We need to hospitalize him and start planning our next course of treatment immediately."

It's really hard to describe the feeling that immediately follows finding out that your child has cancer. It doesn't make it any easier if it's the first time, second or in his case fifth time. It felt like the floor had fallen away and that the whole fabric of reality was unraveling. I have long understood that denial is an automatic response that takes over to protect us from being overwhelmed when we encounter some unacceptable aspect of reality. I guess that was what was going on, nothing seems real. No this can't be real it's not him that has this awful disease. I must have the cancer that would be OK he can't have cancer. Oh, God NO, please, this can't be real. This can't be real. This can't..… it is Matt breathe you have to focus he needs you, Gabby's scream tore me back to reality, her knees gave out quickly I threw my arms out cashing her as I heard Brent yell. "Mommy are you okay? Mommy what is going on?"

He jumped up rushing over throwing his arms over Gabby's shoulders "Mommy don't cry, mommy it's going to be okay," he looked to Dr. Renee his face serious his eyes squinting as he studied her face. "It's back isn't it? My Leukemia that's why mommy is sad, and daddy looks pissed."

She nodded getting down onto the floor with him as Gabby held him tightly. Rocking his body her tears falling fast as she kept repeating "My boy, my precious baby boy," "Mommy I will be okay please do not be sad, I beat this monster before, I will be triumph again." he turned to Dr. Renee "I have to go into the hospital tonight don't I?" she nodded smiling a bit as he sat in her lap. "Can I share a room with Aunt Sylvie?" "Sweetie I wish but she's in ICU, you have to go to the pediatric floor," he let out a deafening scream jumping up "No! No! I have to be with aunt Sylvie!"

Nothing any of us could do calmed him down our sweet boy kicked bit screamed his face going red as he threw himself down on the ground in a full fledged temper tantrum. Till Dr. Renee grabbed him pulling him into her lap "Brent sweetie let's make a deal," "No! No deal I want Aunt Sylvie," "Okay Brent if you calm down baby. I will let you stay the night with Aunt Sylvie, I'll talk to the nurse's so they know it's okay, but tomorrow you have to go to the Pediatric oncology unit, than when Sylvie is awake and better, will get you a room together down there." "When will she be better?" "Hopefully soon, I'm going to show you her charts can you be a good boy and be calm?" he sniffled nodding.

She opened her charts "Do you see these numbers? These were Sylvie's white cells when she was brought in last week, the day she fainted. 10,00 do you know what that number means?" he nodded "That's the normal white cell range for adults," "Correct babe," She ruffled his hair kissing his check. His finger followed the chart "She was up to 13,000, than by the time she passed out it was 15,000. Now she's down to almost 10,000 again, so the chemo is working," "Yes darling it is hopefully she will wake up soon,"

"She will cause I will talk to her, we're kindred spirits, she'll listen to me just like I listened to her when I was in my coma two years ago" Gabby and I shared a look how did he remember that? Shay squeezed my hand telling me by touch to let it go till another time. "Can mommy stay tonight to?" "Sure baby, why don't you two go get settled I'll talk to the charge nurse,"

He ran to me hugging me "daddy It'll be okay I love you, don't be sad, Sylvie and I will both be okay," so will my baby cousin, Mommy will Diego and Eva come see me soon?" Gabby bit her lip looking at us none of us had any word on their whereabouts. "Sure as soon as they can sweetie, let's go see Aunt Sylvie."

She took his hand as he turned to wave to Shay and Cashel. "Take care of my mommy auntie Shay. Cash, come visit me," "You got it dude, don't forget nurse Rylee is mine, you can have nurse Aislinn and nurse Aoife," Both boys laughed as they name the nurse on the pediatric oncology floor who they thought were cute. "I'll be by tomorrow and will super soak them,"

"Yes!" Brent pumped his arm back laughing as he skipped down the hall. Taking my heart with him. "Shay let's make a stop at the Chapel," She smiled "Going to pray for Brent, Sylvie and Eva and Diego?" "Yeah God can't ignore all these prayers forever, he'll keep our family safe."

Won't he? All I want is to take my beautiful boy home pretend this disease doesn't exist but it's not reality is if I take him home, he'll die within months, so once again I have to trust my son and now possibly my sister to doctors. At least I know everyone here at Med their in good hands, I just need Sylvie to wake up once she is will get a DNA test. If she's my sister so help me god I will stop at nothing to protect her and my son. No matter the cost. Family is everything to me.

 **A/ N: Thanks to everyone who is reading and taking the time to review. Love hearing feedback. Who's excited for the return of One Chicago this week? I know I am! Hit me up mileycfan4eva on twitter for updates or just to chat, Tattooed4uariandliz on IG. Have a great week everyone stay safe if your in the eye of any winter storms.**


	13. Chapter 13 Running for our lives

**Chapter 13 Running for our lives**

 **P O V: Eva Dawson**

"Passing through the fire of meditation, everything that is not your authentic reality, everything that is borrowed, will be burned away."

I heard that quote from my grandma after her marriage dissolved three years ago. She was trying to remain positive, upbeat for my dad, our aunt for us. It didn't work I could see how depressed, confused she was. Just like I am now, except like her I have to be strong for Diego who is still staring blankly out the car window.

We got lucky in a way after the gun went off the cops were distracted allowing us to get away, we hightailed it to my friend Marissa's house, she's a free spirit who likes to travel all over the world, her dad is a guitarist who is always touring, her mom a celebrity hairstylist, she has connections all over the world.

She ushered us inside quickly making drastic changes to us, shaving Diego's head, cutting my hair and dying it red, she gave me contacts which change my eyes to blue, she gave him green ones. Than she grabbed her stash of money which she keeps for Emergency situations. Her car keys and three burner phones, we took off in her car, according to her were heading for Miami. She has a cousin there who will help us out.

We've avoided public places, I'm scared to see the news, I have no idea how long it's been if anyone got shot, if they are okay. I pray no one got hurt because of us. It wasn't suppose to be like this. When Diego came to me he told me he needed a driver because him and Blake were going to teach some Ash kid a lesson, he had been sprouting off some B.S about hating cops, he said they were just going to scare them, I will admit Diego seemed genuinely shocked when Blake started to beat the kid nearly to death, he tried to stop it, but Blake is stronger, meaner.

Why Blake pulled the gun out I will never know, why would he try to shoot a cop? He was suppose to be pro-police. My head is still spinning. I'm glad I was there though the thought of my brother being on his own scared me even more. I can protect him, I will protect him, he won't know the harsh reality of being homeless.

I have no idea what I will do for work when we get to Miami. I'm only sixteen who will hire me? What kind of pay will I get? How will we pay rent? Will anyone even rent to us? So may questions, fears, worries. I wonder how my parents are. I never want them to worry about us, but I know better than to try to contact them. Dad's a cop he'll be all over it in a heartbeat.

"What state are we in now?" Marissa squints to see the nearest road sign we only travel at night less cops on the highways. We sleep in the car pulled over off the road into woods, or rest stops. It's worked so far, we wash up in bathrooms at those rest stops. We're smart about this not stealing or calling attention to ourselves, we travel in groups we giggle, and act natural. I can't believe we've fooled so many people. I keep waiting for the foot to drop. Keep praying god will watch over us, keep us safe, hidden while we running for our lives.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14:**

 **P O V: Matt Casey**

 **November 10th, 2018, 12:12 pm**

I believe! Reese it's a miracle, Sylvie woke up yesterday! I am so relieved, my heart is beating so fast. I still can't get use to writing in you, uh maybe I am a bit chauvinistic but I never associated writing in journals as a manly trait. To me growing up to be a real man it meant smashing a beer can after chugging it, boxing to get your frustrations out, fixing things, holding your emotions inside, you don't cry you don't write them down.

Try telling that to your five year old son when he asks you why he/mommy write their feelings down in their journals, don't you have feelings about me having cancer daddy? I mean how do you answer that? Easy I write.

So I picked your name Reese because I'm here eating a Reese Peanut Butter cup my favorite yum, and Sylvie is giving me the death glare, she's only on TPN she can't eat real food yet, their going to try to ween her off the vent later today hopefully tomorrow she'll be on regular food.

Maybe than she won't give me death stares, I kind of like it though, I can't help but smile. She's adorable her face is so red right now, she looks like she wants to reach over grab the damn cup out of my hand and bitch slap me with it before shoving it down her throat. Honestly if it got her to eat I would let her.

Brent is so excited to have her down with him tomorrow they plan to transfer her as long as she remains stable. It'll be great to have them both in the same room. Gabby is so exhausted, I can see it taking a toll on her, she's with Brent while I am with Sylvie but we play double duty, both of us changing every few hours. Tonight she'll come up with Sylvie while I stay with the boy.

 **11/10/18 6:25 pm**

Great news they took Sylvie off the vent she can breathe normally so happy! The hyperleukocytosis worked Sylvie's white cells have dropped dramatically! It feels so good to see her smiling she can't talk yet her throat is super sore due to the Trach tube which was down her throat. She's only on ice chips yet, which I am feeding her slowly the nurses warned me not to over due it because her stomach won't tolerate it well.

It's just amazing to see her awake, I can't stop staring into her eyes, all I keep wondering is. What if she really is my sister. We've missed out on so many years together. I keep going over how different our lives would have been if we had grown up together. Would we have a strong bond or would it be another broken relationship like the one I have with Christie? Or would we have been best friends who shared secrets? Leaning over I kiss her check thankful her fever has broken.

Chief came by tonight along with Kelly, Herrman, Cindy and Donna we met in Brent's room Shay took the kids down to the entertainment room. So we could talk it's obivious will be in here for awhile, Brent's doctors are still unsure how to deal with this last relapse. Chemo itself has proven ineffective alone, he's had two bone marrow transplants, their now thinking about a clinical trail or a third B.M.

Chief came to tell us that our furlough time was almost used up, we can't afford to go without pay, treatments alone are thousands of dollars, than there is the hospital stay, plus they charge you for each service such as anesthesia, an MRI, surgery, cancer patients receive so many tests, procurers one day can be thousands of dollars most insurance companies don't cover even half the costs.

He came up with a plan to help us one week Gabby and I will work, Herrman and Shay will come stay with Brent and Sylvie while we work, the next week Kelly and Emily will come, the week after Stella and Mouch will cover for us while we work, that way we never miss a paycheck, they've taken up a collection at both Molly's one for Sylvie the other for Brent.

I'm so overwhelmed with emotion, so grateful it's a reminder to me that this doesn't effect just us, the whole house is effected by what we are going through. Herrman told me today that Cashel and Kenny organized a fundraising event at their school, a talent show which they will charge ten dollars a ticket for and refreshments.

The love I am feeling tonight. Well it's hard to put into words.

Blessed.

Maybe not so hard after all. Lol

 **10:52 pm**

Brent is so excited to see Sylvie tomorrow. He can't sleep...no he won't sleep, he's all smiles, bouncing off the walls, dancing singing, playing games. He doesn't seem sick. Maybe the doctors are wrong tests results get mixed up all the time, right? I know denial, I've been down this road five times, newsflash it sucks each time.

I've long since stopped trying to get him to calm down, honestly it's a relief to see him laughing dancing, clapping. I know all too soon the pain, sickness will start. Gabby is sleeping thankfully in the adjoining room Dr. Renee gave her lunesta a sleeping medication. She's curled up in bed covers pulled up to her chin Brent's cute little jester as he kissed her check and said a prayer for God to watch over mommy and let her sleep. He's so sweet, where did he get that from?

I can't help but admit I am jealous of Gabby right now.

 **11/11/11:15 a.m**

The big day is here! Sylvie was transferred down Brent had to be restrained by Gabby and I to keep him from crawling all over her, she's groggy, still in pain and weakened. Yet her classic smile was there waiting for her hug from him, he crawled all over her bed smothering her in kisses.

His enthusiasm and love for her is inspiring he doesn't see biological relationships, or bloodlines, all he knows is his love for Sylvie is powerful all consuming she's his aunt period. Will it matter to him if she turns out to be his biological aunt? I doubt it can get deeper. Still I can't wait to ask her to get tested. Maybe tomorrow. I need sleep, right now Sylvie is starting on her clear liquid diet, or staring it down is more like it. Small baby steps Matt just be thankful she's awake and on the road to recovering. Herrman offered to stay tonight, but I can't pry myself away, I feel complete here with them, but I also feel an urgent need to be here. I've learned to listen to my gut over the last five years when it comes to my child.

 **11/12/18 5:32 am**

 **Thank god I listened to my gut!**

Sylvie had an allergic reaction to Cytarabine one of the Chemo medications late last night. She devolved serve rashes all over her body, she kept telling Brent she was fine every-time he asked, even as she was gasping for air because of the tightness in her chest. Thank god Brent is so perceptive, he has a strong memories of all his reactions. He had the same reaction last year when he was on Cytarabine.

Quickly he woke Gabby who woke me with her screaming, I raced out to get an RN but no one was around, apparently there was a birthday celebration for one of the RN's so they were in their break-room having cake.

The thought of what could of happened to her if he had been alone last night. I can't began to express my fears. By the time they got to her room she was almost in a full code, they gave her hydrocoritisone, it didn't work, so they tried epinephrine, finally she started to improve.

Things didn't stay calm for very long though, less than an hour later she woke up screaming clutching her stomach. Gabby was the first to notice the spotting, fear filled us both, miscarriage is such a strong fear for us. I called Antonio who got here as quick as he could. Dr. Manning quickly ordered an ultrasound which showed the heartbeat, so precious, so tiny yet so loud! Tears ran down Gabby's checks as Antonio clutched Sylvie's hands, it showed that the amniotic sac was starting to tear a sign of a miscarriage so she quickly ordered a CBC, than did a pelvic exam, I gave her privacy but Antonio and Gabby stayed, thankfully Brent was knocked out. Brett was started on progesterone and the symptoms seemed to have subsided, she's sleeping now.

I'm sleeping beside her now holding her because she's freezing, she's receiving two units of whole blood, and a unit of platelets. To get her to gain weight, she's on PPN now which means peripheral parenteral nutrition, it's helping her to gain back nutrients such as sugar, carbohydrates, proteins, lipids, electrolytes, and trace elements to her body. These nutrients are vital in maintaining high energy, hydration, and strength levels. Thankfully she has a port in her chest so she doesn't have to be stuck anymore in her already bruised arms, hands, they blew a vein last week.

They also have her drinking Ensure to help her gain weight but she keeps vomiting it back up. Antonio is laying next to her on her other side, I know he's worried about his kids, but the fact he came out here to support her helps. She needs all the love, support she can get, were trying to get her warm but she's really low on red blood cells right now.

I can feel my eyes growing heavy so I will talk to you later Reese. Peace.

 **11/19/18 Time: I have no damn idea**

Exhaustion doesn't cover it Sylvie has been up throwing up for the last two nights, she has fevers, chills, serve headaches so bad she's passed out twice, she's having body aches, chest pain; tremors, muscle weakness, trouble standing/ walking; everyday twice a day PT comes to help her walk and excise she's pushing herself so hard to stay strong, but her body seems to have other idea's.

Gabby and I returned to work last week our days off were spent juggling between seeing Sam, relieving Shay and Gabby's mom of babysitting duties while Herrman, Cindy and Lily, Antonio stayed with Sylvie and Brent. This week we're on hospital duty.

I feel like I haven't slept in forever. I can't complain though, being back at work was a needed break for both of us. This week yeah it sucks seeing Sylvie this sick, she moans at night softly trying to muffle her voice and tears in the pillow but we hear it. We're taking turns holding her stroking her back but nothing eases her pain.

Cancer fucking sucks.

 **11/23/18 12;35 am**

Thanksgiving is in two days, I can't get excited I love this holiday but this year well seeing as will be spending in at Med, I see no reason to get hyped. Yes I am thankful I have so many loved ones, yes I have been blessed in many ways. But we should be home not here.

We've made the decision to go ahead with a transplant for Brent, he's been entered into the registry, they've started him on Chemo. Yesterday was his first watching him and Sylvie together compare names of Chemo drugs and the colors was comical they both have a wicked sense of humor.

They also get each other in trouble. Yesterday she taught him how to take spare syringes fill them with apple juice and spray nurses as they walk in, of course being the Peds floor no one gets mad they get even. Brett has a true mischievous side to her she took the apple juice filled it in a cup used for pee tests and pretended to drink it in front of a new RN who gasped screaming running out as Brent laughed so hard he almost peed. I'm pretty sure Susie the RN she played this trick on knew what it was but went along with it, bless these staff members for their love, compassion and willingness to go above and beyond. It was great to see these two laughing, joking even as they had poison dripping into their bodies.

Poison I try not to think about it, yet when the staff administering has to wear gloves because the chemo can burn their skin off if it accidentally gets on it, it's hard not to think about it. This shit is going into my child's body, into my unborn niece or nephew's body. I really need to let go of this idea that she's my sister until I have proof.

I can't help it though. I already love her so much.

 **11/25/18 1;13 pm**

Yass we have a true blessing to be thankful for! Remission! Sylvie gets to go home! Today! We've gotten a pass to take Brent home as well! I can't be more thankful! Thank you God thank you lord Jesus! Thank you Chicago Med!

We're heading to the firehouse for a true celebration 51 style!

Our journey isn't over by a long shot, but we get a reprieve. You take your blessings when you can.


	15. Chapter 15 Missing the signs

**Chapter 15: Missing the signs**

 **P O V: Gabriela Dawson**

"You gonna stare at your journal all day babe or actually open it and like write in it?" Glaring at Shay's direction as she flipped on the TV to see a rerun of The Conners on 'It's been forever since I needed this," She squeezed my shoulder smiling at me as she made dinner for the boys.

"What did you name it again?" She smirked "Shut up Shay, I named it Pieces because that's how I feel watching my son fight for his life, now my best friend." She sent a glare shooting my way, rolling my eyes I slapped her ass shoving her away from the stove. "What the hell are you doing with this crap?" Motioning to the mess in the frying pan which I think was suppose to be some sort of seafood combo. "You know I can't cook," "that's an understatement bitch," 'So I've been replace huh?" She sounded heartbroken. "Shay what's going on?" I gently touched her hand taking it away from the spatula. "Look at me Shay, what's going on?" She shrugged "Nothing my life is amazing, just as amazing as this dish, I screwed up," She grunted taking it roughly off the stove and shoved it all into the garbage, "Cashel call LaGrande order two extra large cheese pizza's/ 50 wings and whatever drinks ya'll want,' He pumped his fist into the air "Yes!" "Shay look at me,"

I moved across my kitchen quickly grabbing her as she threw the pan into the sink which sizzled and hissed as the cold water hit it. "What's going on with you?" I looked at her I've been so consumed with Brent and Sylvie being sick I haven't had any time with Shay lately. Looking at her now I could see how thin she was her eyes were dark rimmed & blood shot. "Nothing Gabby I have to get my credit card."

She left the kitchen without another word going to her purse as Cashel came out to the kitchen. "Hey has anything been going on with your mom Cash?" he shrugged "She isn't sleeping at night she keeps waking up with nightmares screaming, she barely eats, she just drinks all the time, Uncle Kelly seems worried but he keeps telling me not to worry, he seems pretty wise." "He is wise just don't tell him his head is big enough,"

He laughed as he gave me the thumbs up sign. My mind raced with worry why wasn't Shay sleeping? Why was she having nightmares? Was she hurting over something? Why wasn't she talking to me? Was she talking to anyone? Why didn't Kelly tell me something was up with her?"

She came back with her credit card giving it to Cash who went and called the order in. "So you still have shopping to do babe?" She groaned I wasn't going to push her to talk, I'd let her come to me. "yes I have no idea what to get for Cash." "Me to let's make a date of it tomorrow night?" "Sounds good babe,"

Twenty minutes later the pizza came so I went to wake Brent, Sylvie up. First stop was my room where Sylvie was crashed out on the bed completely wiped out, gently I woke up feeling her forehead, checks to make sure she didn't have a fever. She was going to be crashing with me while Matt took her bed since he was staying with us to help out while she was pregnant and both of them in treatment.

"Seriously you named your journal Pieces?" Rolling my eyes at Shay I shoved her so hard she fell laughing grabbing the pillow off the couch throwing it at me, "Ah hell nah, bitch you about to die, you wanna pop, I got the fizz," She laughed loudly as she braced herself for my attack. Minutes later the kids were all joining in laughing whacking each other, us with pillows.

 **12/25/18 12:56 P.M Pieces**

That's how I feel my life is right now Christmas is here a time of joy, fun, excitement adventure. Sitting here watching my boys shriek with excitement as they tear through each beautifully wrapped gift, I should be bursting with tears of happiness. Instead I am silently crying in pain, fear.

My last few weeks has been hell Chemo is hitting Brent hard this time around he's awake each night sick with fevers, chills, nausea, pain. Sylvie, Matt and I have been taking turns holding him cleaning him up.

If that wasn't enough Shay confessed she is in love with me, how do I react to that? How can I tell her the truth that I love her to? She doesn't need my baggage. She must of taken my silence as rejection she hightailed it out of the club, I haven't heard from her since.

This morning watching the kids squeal, try out all their presents, dance and sing with each other, take selfies, it was amazing. Brent seemed like every other kid of nearly six years old. I can't believe he'll be six in three days.

Today was bittersweet while it was great seeing them happy Cancer once again struck again. Sylvie was braiding her hair so she could play with Sam who had gotten a magic sand for a present and wanted her to help build a star ship. As she was braiding her hair a hug chunk came out, followed by another, each strand got her more upset, but she held it inside seeing Brent's eyes fill with tears. She plastered on a smile and went on to play with him. Brent however couldn't let it go he got more and more upset she kept trying to tell him it was alright it's just hair she'll get a wig it will grow back after treatment. Nothing eased his emotions he kept hugging her telling her she was beautiful and he loved her hair. She didn't deserve to lose it.

While he was playing with Sam things got a little rough and Sam grabbed Brent's hair a huge chuck came out, I excepted a meltdown but he only shrugged it off, how is he more upset for Sylvie than himself? My child is special.

I know she's upset by it she kept it calm with the kids but later in my room she broke down, I held her while she cried, her whole body shock. Tears soaked my shirt seeping through my skin.

I wish I could help her my heart is breaking seeing her suffer, she's so sick, so scared and my brother isn't here for her. After she fell asleep I cried for hours, I feel so helpless my family is hurting.

5:58 p m

A mini miracle Antonio came home tonight, he's broken, scared shit-less he still has no leads as to where his kids are, I can't imagine his pain or fear. If either of my boys were missing, I have no idea what I would do but it wouldn't be pretty.

Matt and I took the kids out to give Antonio and Sylvie Privacy, I hope they can help each other heal.

We need a little healing.


	16. Chapter 16 Help

**Chapter 16 Help**

 **P O V: Eva Dawson**

 **January**

"Help!"

I'm exhausted it's been a long ass night. We've been in Miami for months now, I was lucky to get a job almost straight away as a VIP Hostess in one of the hottest clubs in Miami. It's my job to get the drinks flowing, the guests dancing, drinking, spending.

Of course they think I am 21. Thanks to my fake ass ID from Marissa's cousin Agisilaos he also works there as a promoter. It's long, long hours. I spend all night from 7 pm to 4 am standing on my feet rushing after guests, refilling drinks, getting the girls I am in charge with to be aggressive. I spend most of my time making sure the dancers are fueled with drinks, weed. I never had anything to do with drugs my whole life, never saw them hadn't even smelled weed before, so it's easy for me to ignore it. I don't use the stuff, but I can see how it would help the girls to loosen their nerves before going on stage. Drinking however has helped me get through these long nights in the morning after we close I am in charge of restocking. Cleaning up, I never get in before 12 pm.

From one to three I have classes I am trying to get my GED, and help Diego get his. I worry about him, while I've stayed away from the drug scene he's driven into it full circle. Selling for Marissa's brother Emilios who runs one of the local gangs in Miami, I can see the drastic change in Diego. He went from a sweet, fun chess loving nerd to a hard core beat the shot out of you for looking at him the wrong way kid.

He's high 99% of the day I worry he's using more product than he's selling. He has no idea what will happen to him if he messes with Emilio's business. I miss our parents, I worry about them.

I can't wait to get a few hours of sleep after tonight's shift I will have enough to get Diego and I out of this tiny cramped apartment that we're sharing with three of Marissa's cousins, her brother. I'm the only girl living there, at times I am scared, their all much older and look at me like I am piece of meat. I have to stay strong though.

Help!

Diego's scream gets my tired blistered feet moving he's in trouble I knew it before I flung the door open, before I saw the gun pressed to his temple, heard Emilio's angry drunk voice threatening. "I warned your punk ass what would happen if you used my product and cost me money, now you'll pay you little bitch." I heard the click, I saw Diego's face filled with fear, shame, my heart dropped.

"Don't shoot him, please I'll do anything!" He turned to me his eyes cold, hard unfeeling. "Grab the little hoe boys, maybe I'll have some fun before I blow their brains out, watch and learn little boy what happens when little bitches mess up and their sisters have to pay the price,"

Fear gripped me as two of his boys grabbed my arms roughly covering my mouth to prevent my screams from being heard, not that it would matter in this neighborhood people mind their own business.

My back was slammed roughly against the floor as they snickered, their eyes scanning my body. "Who gets this slut first?" they tied my hands above my head ripping at my skirt as Diego was shoved in roughly thrown to his knees, his hands tied behind his back.

"Now watch and learn little boy, I'll make a man out of you right before I slaughter you."

Closing my eyes I prayed for God to watch over us for my dad to never find my bloody broken body. He didn't deserve this, neither did my mom.

Would God hear my prayers? Would he care?


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

 **P O V: Sylvie Brett**

 **February 14th 2019**

"I will never find another lover sweeter than you  
Sweeter than you  
And I will never find another lover more precious than you  
More precious than you

Girl, you are close to me, you're like my mother  
Close to me, you're like my father  
Close to me, you're like my sister  
Close to me, you're like my brother  
You are the only one my everything and for you this song I sing"

Being in Antonio's arms as we danced under the stars filled me with so much love, so much hope. Something I desperately needed. I know everyone has been so scared with my decision to stop treatment two and half months ago, after the second near miscarriage scare, I wouldn't risk my baby's life.

At first I felt amazing I had so much energy I was with Brent at his treatments. I took Sam to the park, to nursery school, on play dates, I helped Brent, Cashel with their homework when their parents were working. I even traveled to a few cities with Antonio in search of his kids, we made love under the stars, we explored the cities, interviewed local street kids, police officers.

Nothing solid came up I can see the frustration on his face the hopelessness, pain in his eyes. I want so bad to take away the pain, I have no idea how. I am glad Laura is in Italy and is clueless he doesn't need that stress.

Tonight it's all about us, I can barely stand I am nine months along now, ready to pop any day. His arms wrapped around my waist though his lips on my throat eased my discomfort. These days all I can do is sleep, I have no energy, I feel sick to my stomach, I'm running fevers, everyone is worried.

"I love you Sylvie, soon our baby will be here, we need names picked out for this little peanut,"

Our lips connect as his hand rests over my stomach. Tonight is perfect he showed up at my door carrying a dozen of roses, dressed in a white suit looking sharp, the light caught his hair, his eyes shone in pure love. "I love you to Antonio."

He gave me his blazer when I started shaking, he hooked his arm through mine, as he blindfolded me and lead me outside to a horse drawn carriage. We ate dinner at a fancy Italian restaurant feeding each other, giggling and stealing kisses like teenagers. Teens that gave me an idea "Tony maybe we're going about this all wrong,"

"No Sylvie I think I know how to dance." We laughed as we shared a kiss "No I meant looking for the kids, we're thinking as adults as cops, as paramedics, not as teens. If I was a teen on the run I wouldn't go to a big city, I'd go to some place I wanted to spend my days hiding out, what about beach towns like Malibu or Miami?"

His eyes lit up his breath caught "Jesus Sylvie your a genius I never even thought about it," "I'll take genius,"

"You look sexy in red Sylvie, I mean you look sexy in everything, but damn those red lips," he pressed his against mine soft at first, than with more urgency. My breath caught in my throat, my body heated up.

God his eyes are so sexy I swear I felt like I was being covered in melted chocolate his eyes drank me up as his lips devoured my skin. Forever, that's what I see when I look into his eyes.

"How about Ambrosia Rose for a girl's name?"

He grinned "That's beautiful Sylvie I love it,"

"Jervon for a boy it means gift from god,"

"Damn baby you are so sexy,"

"So kiss me Antonio,"

"I will in one minute."

I whined as he broke apart our embrace what was he doing? Why was I waiting for a kiss? Didn't this boy know I am nine months pregnant with his frigging big ass baby, why was I waiting for a kiss? Closing my eyes I rested for a moment against the bar, it was so sweet of Gabby, Herrman, Stella, Otis to close Molly's for us for the night.

"Open your eyes baby,"

I did gasping in surprise as I saw Antonio on his knees holding open a box inside lay the perfect diamond ring glittering under the spotlight. "Sylvie will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?"

I was speechless tears ran down my eyes "Yes!" I manged to get out before dissolving in tears, the light flung on as everyone suddenly burst out cheering bottles popping open. I spun in shock to see everyone from 51, 21 standing there cheering clapping. They surrounded us within minutes Gabby engulfed me into the tightest of hugs. "Congratulations my future sister in law," "Gabby I ...Uh...oh god, my water just broke!"


	18. Chapter 18 Life Rearranged

**Chapter 18**

 **P O V: Leslie Shay**

 **Tell Anyone anything about your past, your son dies,"**

I've stared at the letter a million times since I received it two months ago. My heart hasn't stopped racing since the day we found the boy, the mysterious boy who's name I haven't bothered to learn. Despite the fact I've visited his ICU hospital room almost every day. He's been in a coma for the last two months until this week. I know who sent this letter, I know he isn't playing either.

He's the reason I am up every night with these damn nightmares, I can't sleep. I can barely eat, all I do is worry about Cashel's safety. I know I am driving him crazy but if anything would to happen to my son because of me, I would nerve forgive myself.

The nightmares change each night but they end the same with Cash laying in a grave, his voice haunting me waking me up "Mamma you could of saved me, why didn't you listen mamma?"

Every-time I end up waking up shaking tears pouring out running to his room to see him sprawled out in his boxers, legs hanging out, snoring slightly. He's always fine, yet it never stops me from worrying or locking each door multiple times. Checking his windows, texting him in the day, calling his school to make sure he's in his classes. Thankfully his teachers, his principle are pretty cool about overprotective moms or he'd probably be kicked out of school.

The only saving grace I have is that Gabby is so distracted with Sylvie and Brent she barely notices anything that is going on with me lately. Even if they did how would I explain to them? No one knows about my past. My parents made damn sure of that. I was taken when I was eleven, held for nearly three years, made to believe my parents didn't care. They drilled it into my head that I was a kid who's imagination was too big, that I dreamed my parents cared enough to look for me, when the reality was they declared me dead a long time ago.

They did everything to convince me that I was better off with them, they threatened Megan on a daily basis till I was so terrified to even think about calling for help. It wasn't all bad all the time. They fed me, gave me clothes, helped me with my homework, I never stopped going to school. We just moved all the time every few months, they said it was because his job kept him traveling. They dyed or cut my hair each time, got contacts for me or glasses. Now I understand it was because the police were closing in. I use to see posters of me in towns when we would go into town, I always kept hope inside that someday somewhere. Someone would recognize me call those numbers. Yet I never voiced it out loud. I knew what would happen. He'd get mad really mad than the beatings would start, the stravation. It would continue till I was a good girl, till the lesson was learned.

He took pleasure in it I know he did, I learned quickly to not show fear. He thrived on weakness. When I was good I was his little buddy, he used me to scout kids, god I hated it. I knew if I didn't do it though I would pay the price. So I did it, he taught me the right kids to look for. Each town we went to, we scouted the schools I attended I looked for the kids from broken homes, the ones who's parents were distanced. I got good at it, a skill I learned which benfits me now as a paramedic. People observation. Back then though it made me sick. I knew what awaited them, when Rae and Teddy got a hold of them. They would be used as their little expertiments once the grooming was done. They'll call them into their rooms, tell them that since they're so nice to them. They excepted payment back. They would take turns raping them, making them preform for them. Rae was always the nice one, the one who would apologize as she was forcing you to do the most vile things to our little bodies. Teddy was rougher stronger, he'd laugh and tell us he was making us into men, women. He scared me but I never showed it.

When I was rescued three and half years later I was shocked to discover how much money my parents spent searching for me. I truly thought they didn't care. They did though my story made national headlines, reporters we're all over us, excepting interviews, wanting to know what happened, why I didn't leave. It got so bad we were forced to leave Beverly Hills, change our names. I took the name of my then best friend Elizabeth Leslie and switched them. I picked Shay as a last name because I loved the singer Shay who was from Ireland. We moved to St. Lois. No one there knew who we were what we had been through, it did our family good to start fresh. I thought my past was behind me, till now.

"Scream and you die Lizzie, I promise you that adorable son of yours will be next," His voice was cold calm which was more unnerving than if he had been panicked, the cold metal blade was pressed against my throat. I saw his face in the mirror, his body was pressed to my back, his arm wrapped around my waist. I never even heard him come into the restroom, nor did I see him till he was on me. I'm losing my touch, I should have been aware.

"Listen to me carefully Lizzie, I will not repeat myself, failure to do as I say will result in Cashel's death, and to make sure you always remember just how powerful I am, I will make sure Sam pays the price for your stupidly as well, guess you'll never have Gabriela's love then will you?"

How did he know? His accuracy was uncanny and quite scary "I know you Lizzie remember that, I own you. Now move don't scream, don't try to warn anybody just walk, you will get me into the PICU with your badge, you will get me into his room and help me get him out of this hospital, no funny business or I'll kill those kids your so crazy about, I know you can do this Lizzie don't let us down," for the first time I saw he was dressed in scrubs. "My son is coming home with me a son's place is with his father, No one will tell me that Ashe isn't mine,"

He shoved me hard I had to grip the wall for balance my chest was tight sweat dripped down my face. If he killed me it would be forever before anyone even noticed I was missing, everyone I loved was up in the maternity unit with Sylvie who is in active labor.

Please god don't leave me now please watch over my boys and I.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

 **P O V: Christopher Herrman**

"Uncle Herrman, can I ask you something?" Brent asked me as we were on our way down to X-ray for some scans. "Of Course you can buddy what's on your mind?" "Heaven." My blood stopped cold heaven why would a six year old want to know about heaven? How was I suppose to answer his question? This should be his parents place not mine. I'm just the cool uncle who buys things makes them laugh and hypes them up on sugar before sending them back to their parents.

"What is it about heaven that you want to know buddy?"

"Is there a special place in heaven for kids who die?" Okay now I understand what it means when they say your heart skips a beat. He looked so normal so child like but no child should be wondering about death. Be honest with him that's what Gabby and Matt have always told me they don't lie to him or sugar coat it this is his illness and he needs the facts. If he can't trust you he won't be able to trust doctors, medicine or anything that is needed to save his life.

"Yes I believe so Brent, why do you ask?"

"Because I heard the nurses talking Bobby Valentine isn't going to make it, Bobby's been one of my best-est of friends here on 13NW, I can't ask mommy or daddy their so worried about Aunt Sylvie. I just wondered when I die will I see Capri and Bobby or will I be stuck with all old people? I don't want to be the only young one there, that doesn't seem fair."

Fair? None of this is fair! Kids aren't suppose to have cancer, their not suppose to be stuck in the hospitals for months in pain, confused, scared. No their suppose to be running free on playgrounds competing against their friends to see who can spit farther, fart louder throw better free throws. Their suppose to be in classrooms learning useless information to put unnecessary pressures on themselves to pass some cockamamie test that will be meaningless in their real world lives.

What struck me though was Brent wasn't complaining about any of that he never did, he always handled his illness with maturity beyond his young years, he was simply stating a fact heaven belonged to older people. Because they've lived full meaningful lives down here on earth they worked hard their whole lives to make ends meat, provide for their families. They got to accomplish their dreams, have achievements, families, memories, kids when they die well they don't take away achievements, they take away the hope that their parents had for them for their lives, they leave us with missed opportunities, lost hope, confusion and the endless questions of what if? Why? What could I of done?

"No buddy it isn't fair," My middle child Max pipped up "I bet heaven has their own baseball fields, wouldn't it be so cool to chase balls on beds of clouds? Brent's whole face lite up "Heck yeah man! We could have our own army of cloud ballers!"

"Daddy I want to go to heaven to!" The thought of my son wishing he could die made my whole body feel weak, my stomach nauseated. They are too young for this stuff, they have no idea what it really means to die, to be gone forever.

""I think heaven's different for everyone," My oldest Henry Lee spoke up catching my attention. "What do you mean son?" "I think we all have these images of what heaven is like based on what we see in movies, or read about, honestly I don't believe heaven is really like that."

"What do you see it as?" I was curious as to what my son thinks about he's so wrapped up in his damn games all the time he rarely graces us with his presence.

"I believe it is tailored to each person's loves, like when I go to heaven it's gonna be one big ol' video game convention." The boys giggled their eyes going wide. Cashel pumped up his fist "When I get to heaven man it's going to be a big pirate ship! I'll wrangle up all my shipmates and will sail the sea of clouds together searching for treasures, candy loads of candy man!"

The conversation continued between Max, Lee, Cashel and my youngest Kenny who wants heaven to be a big bouncy ball pit til Brent went into his scans. I could see the shift in his eyes as the other kids kept talking about heaven as some kind of alternated reality, he was heading into his reality a world of needles, pain, sickness, tests, isolation and fear.

When we were on our way back my vision was distracted away from the boys to the sight of Shay being lead towards the PICU by a guy I had never seen before. I saw the look in her eyes fear, she was looking around trying to get someone to see her. The man was pushing a stretcher in which a young boy lay on. My breath caught when I saw who the kid was. Why was Shay with this man? Who is this man? Why is she so scared?

They approached an elevator I saw him shove her a little, "Lee take the boys back to Brent's room, I need to talk to auntie Shay for a bit," "Okay dad. Give Aunt Sylvie my love"

"Shay wait up,"

I started to jog towards her his eyes looked towards the kids what was that glint I saw in them? Suddenly Shay kicked her right foot back landing straight into his balls "Help!" fear filled me as the staff turned towards them "Stupid bitch I warned you," the knife sliced across her throat before any of us could reach her. She shifted her body's weight throwing herself towards the ground so the knife got her by inches. My blood ran cold as Cashel screamed out for his mom, the guy laughed rushing towards the steps as full panic rung out on the floor. Someone called out to call codes.

Shay collapsed in my arms gasping for air as blood poured out of her throat. My hands gripped at her tender skin which was growing paler as each breath was staggered. "Help me somebody please help me!"

Hands grabbed her from me as orders were yelled out Dr. Bekker and Dr. Rhodes pushed me away as she gasped out to me "Tell Gabby, Cash I love them, I am sorry."

She was gone seconds later leaving me with blood stained hands endless questions and fear so much fear.

"Code pink! Code Pink! Code Sliver Code Sliver, code crisom!" Echoed over the loudspeakers as staff came racing out of their stations, offices, while my knees gave out, my back hit the wall hard. I didn't feel the pain not the physical kind all I felt was the blood on my hands, the depth of fear in Shay's eyes which stared through me leaving me cold, empty and hopeless.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

 **P O V: Sylvie Brett**

"Ah!" I can't push any more! Get this thing out of me! Oh God it hurts!" People keep telling me giving birth was like having period cramps times a million, yeah they lied bloody bastards, there's nothing like giving birth.

"Sylvie you got this babe, just breathe,"

"I can't bloody breathe, Ah!" Everything hurts it wasn't just my vagina which was currently being ripped open by this damn bowling ball coming out of it taking it's sweet time, no my legs hurt, my stomach, back, head, shoulders, neck. I am so tired I've never been this damn exhausted in my life. Sweat is pouring out of every pore, my butt checks hurt from clenching them, I've peed six times in the last hour, my chest is on fire.

Gabby is on one side holding my hand showing me my breathing exercises, Antonio is on the other almost as panicked as I am. Matt is sitting across the room along with Cindy, Stella, Emily. My parents are on their way, they don't even know I have Leukemia.

My whole body tingled I've never felt anything like it. "Oh god here comes another damn contraction." Everyone sat up eyes wide open they've been dozing on and off for the last 36 hours that I've been in labor. "Ah!" Gabby and Antonio squeezed my hands, April wiped my sweaty face "your doing great Sylvie breathe slowly on 3..2..1,"

"Ah Fuck!" Antonio grinned "No that's what got us here darling." "Shut up Antonio,"

Cold waves shoot over my whole body something isn't right the pain was even more intense than ever. I let out a strangled cry as my body hit the sheets. "I can't please don't make me, I can't."

Matt jumped up rushing over to me his hand rested on my leg "Sylvie you have to keep going your baby needs his or her mamma to be strong, which you are sweetie, breathe in..." He showed me how breathing slow and deep, "Than out...3..2..1." it worked strangely even though my stomach still felt like I had to let out the worlds biggest fart.

"Sylvie no matter what the test results say, we are family, you'll always be my sister bio or not."

"Open them already Matt, I need the distraction."

Matt had approached me months ago about getting a DNA test telling me about his theory that we're related. I agreed to it even though I told him I had no interest in finding our biological parents if it turned out he was adopted as well. I love my adoptive parents, I'm happy with them, I never want them to feel like I am ungrateful. However I wouldn't stand in his way if he wanted to search.

He just received the results yesterday when I was heading out with Antonio he wanted to wait till we were together. "Sylvie picture a happy place filled with peace, close your eyes."

I could hear his breathing shallow as his trembling hands opened the letter. Another contraction hit hard. Gabby squeezed my hand as she kissed my check "You got this babe, be strong push, push, push."

Pain tore through me as a gush of liquid flowed out of me a small cry filled the air as Antonio gasped. He quickly went down below as Matt's voice filled my ears. "The results are there is a 99% match that we are twins Sylvie,"

"AH!"

The body slide all the way out as my body fell back against the bed, "We're twins Matt?" His excitement warmed me as my body became extremely cold, "Yes Sylvie. We're twins oh my god!"

I felt him reach down and hug me as Antonio cried out "We have a daughter Sylvie, she's beautiful!"

A daughter I have a daughter, my eyes scanned over Antonio holding our daughter, god he looked so sexy, Matt's eyes were filled with love, happiness, pride. "I have a niece, Sylvie I am so proud of you congratulations beautiful you did it,"

'Antonio," My voice came out weakened my vision suddenly swam "Can I hold her please," I had this uncontrollable urge to hold my daughter as my body shock in cold.

He sat her in my arms instantly she settled stretching as she looked at me god she is beautiful and so healthy, big. "Hey good looking you are beautiful welcome to the world Ambrosia Rose Dawson, I'm your mamma and I love you so...I suddenly became so damn tired, "Tony take…. Alarms blared as I heard Dr. Manning call out "Vitals are dropping, get her to the ICU Stat!"


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

 **P O V: Matt Casey**

Reese

Twins holy shit we're twins! Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think twins, sister sure, but twins this is amazing. I feel like I have been blessed, and cursed at the same time.

I just found out I have a twin sister and now I may lose her. Sylvie's been in the ICU for three weeks now. She suffered from Hypocalcemia which is a drop in calcium her heart muscle started to contract irregularly due to the electrolyte disturbance. In addition she has become septic from an infection called mucositis.

Antonio has been by her side constantly but I can tell it's killing him not to be out there looking for his kids. I would do anything for Sylvie, I can't help her though not until she kicks these infections, we've gotten the test results there's no doubt that the Leukemia is back in fact it's spread even more than originally.

It's now in her brain her lungs, her spleen and spinal fluid. It's bad Reese really really fucking bad. I'm scared. If that wasn't enough Brent is getting weaker from the chemo, the registry still hasn't found any matches. We held a sign up at 51 yesterday so many people came out but we won't know for a few days if any positive results came out of it.

He's worried for Sylvie I can see it in his eyes, he understands death too much, he just lost another friend to this horrible disease. Bobby passed away two weeks ago, Gabby, Stella, Emily and I went to his funeral god there's no rhyme or reason for a child's death.

I can still see him in that coffin so still, like a G.I action figure out of commission. No child should be that still, how do you hold a grieving parent and express your sorrows, while the whole time your thinking. Thank god it's not my child! They know it to, because as their thanking you, asking you about your child, their thinking why me? Why not him?

I feel like my life is spent inside the walls of Med. If we're not with Sylvie than we're with Brent. Gabby is a mess ever since we heard about Shay, god I can't even processes this shit. Shay our beautiful Shay is dead. How did this happen? Why did this happen?

The police have been all over this, nothing makes any fucking sense. I need answers, I have to go talk to Christie now, I need to sort this shit out. Please god let my sister and my son live.


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 24**

 **P O V: Matt Casey**

"Matthew! My love how are you? It's been forever since you've been to see your mother,"

My mom hit my shoulder as I sat down at her kitchen table she poured me coffee. "Sorry it's been crazy lately, I know I haven't been the best son," she squeezed my hand. "You've been a wonderful son Matthew, what's going on? You seem worried."

"Mom there's no easy way to say this," I told her the story her eyes clouded over her breathing tensed. "Mom am I your son biologically?" she remained silent for a minute breathing hard "No Matt you were adopted when you were just a few weeks old, but you are my son in every other way, I have loved you from the minute you were placed in my arms, I have provided for you financially, emotionally given you shelter, education, strength to grow,"

That conversation happened last week now I am nervously standing inside the firehouse awaiting the arrival of my biological mother who's name my adoptive mom had tucked away. Kelly had contacted her that same day and we arranged to meet as soon as she was back in town.

"Relax Casey it's going to be okay you found her there's no way she won't agree to be tested," Stella squeezed my shoulder "what if she's not a match or can't she might have health issues herself,"

"Don't stress over what you don't know son."

I turned as Kelly came into the room with six people all looking nervous "Ma'am this is Matthew Casey," The women covered her mouth gasping "oh my god my son," she couldn't be more than 55 her blond hair was pulled up into double laced braids, she's tall 6'5 built but thin. She held open her arms "May I Please?" I nodded stepping towards her. She embraced me fully 'I can't believe this is happening. I have dreamed about this day forever,"

We went to the table sitting down she introduced everyone "This is my husband your biological dad Jesse," I shock his hands instantly seeing the familiarity in our facial features, the strong jawline, round checks, the eyes, I got his eyes beautiful emerald green eye color. The same blond sandy hair, while Sylvie had gotten our moms eyes Aqua blue.

"These are our kids your brothers Tyler," she pointed to the oldest who seemed to be about 16, "Nolan he's 13, Siren he's 12, and our daughter Emilia she's 15," I shock hands with each of them "They've all agreed to be tested along with your father, I."

Over the next two weeks as we waited for the results I learned a lot about our past our mom Alissa got pregnant when she was fifteen neither of them could afford to take care of two babies, they wanted to go to school grow up live before they became parents. So her dad put us up for adoption but we were separated. She looked for us over the years but each adoption were private, my mom managed to get her name for the future but she buried it since she never told me I was adopted.

I got to meet my grandparents on both sides, aunts, uncles who all got tested along with their children. Sylvie became stronger and was moved out of ICU her and Brent shared a room again. She agreed to meet our bio parents and siblings but I could see she was hesitant.

The meeting went well even though she was weak and had very little energy I could see it effected Alissa who became teary eyed as she held her hand sharing the story of how she had a brother who passed away from Leukemia when he was ten she was 12.

Already a protective brother I ushered everyone out when I could see her strength weakening even though she was fighting to stay alert. I didn't want her to hurt herself.

She was heading into isolation tomorrow to start ten days worth of high dose Chemo before the transplant.

By the evening I had kicked everyone from 51 out I wanted to spend time with Sylvie one on one. Laying in bed with her as she rested her head against my shoulder we talked about our childhoods, our best friends, favorite foods, dreams, fears, her beautiful daughter, my adorable handsome sons. What inspired us to go into our professions.

I have never felt closer to anyone besides Gabby than I do with Sylvie. Even Christie who I grew up with I never laughed as much in my whole childhood with her as I did in this night with Sylvie.

We made plans for what we wanted to do in our life after she got out of the hospital, including a vacation with just us we argued over where to go until she started coughing. When she settled down I took her hand kissing it "I'm going to be here with you forever Sylvie, I'll be the one making sure Antonio treats you correctly or I'll kick his ass, I'll stand up for you on your wedding day, I'll be there to cheer Ambrosia on at every cheer comp, dance battle, school play, I'll be the annoying big brother who's balls you wanna punch in,"

She laughed "Hate to break it to you Matthew, you already are, and I love you."

Her last words to me before she went into a very intense round of Isolation and high dose Chemo which left her sleeping 99% of the day, battling fevers, vomiting, diarrhea, blackouts, bone pain. She was heavily medicated leaving her out of it most of the time. Only one visitor every two hours they had to wear sterile gowns, masks, gloves and could only stay for 10 minutes.

Her parents came down and spent most of the visits with her. Two days into it we learned Nolan and Emilia were both matches for Brent. Because of the ages Emilia was chosen to be a the donor. Brent went into his own Isolation room next door to Sylvie.

I prayed they would both be alright. Chemo is really worse than the damn disease. If they survived these ten days it would be a miracle. Please Lord we need one of those.


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23**

 **P O V: Antonio Dawson**

"Feel my heartbeat Sylvie, it's here beating for you," tears fell down my checks, I am not too proud too big to cry openly. She couldn't talk to me even though she's awake, her breathing is fast shallow, she's developed pneumonia. she's on oxygen but it's not helping. I can see the darkened rims under her eyes, she's lost so much weight in the past three weeks. Her skin is so pale so thin it's like paper meche. I'm afraid it will tear if there's too much pressure placed on it. So I kiss each check gently, holding her hand to my chest.

"Sylvie you can't scare me like this baby please I need you to fight," Maybe it's unfair of me to ask her to keep fighting. She's in so much pain I can see it hear it with every gasp, wheeze. "I know your afraid, so am I baby, I feel lost, scared to death, my legs can't even support me, not when I think about losing you," She's trying to talk but every attempt leaves her gasping, coughing almost choking, having to quit so she can suck oxygen back in big gulps. "I won't leave you though Sylvie I promise you, I am here, I love you baby so much,"

"I know your fighting baby I know your fighting so hard to stay with me to be the mother Ambrosia deserves, she's so beautiful Sylvie our little girl that we created, she's amazing, it's okay to be weak we all are at some point, I'll be stronger Sylvie, when you feel weakened I'll be your wings to carry you,"

Cancer has taken it's toll on her it doesn't care that she's barely 29 years old, or that she has a brand new daughter or a family that loves her. Cancer has spoken it's made itself at home in her blood, her bone, her fluids. "If you need to cry, I'll hold you," I wrapped my arms around her frail body holding her. She didn't cry truth be told she had no strength left for tears. I could hear her rattled breathing.

"No judgment Sylvie, just love sweetheart," I kissed her hand the finger where her engagement ring should be looked pale and thin still I placed a kiss on it. "I'll love you, dry your eyes when you cry, kiss you beautiful soft lips so hard your knees will go weak. Stroking her thinned hair I felt her relax a little. "Don't try so hard Sylvie you need to rest, whatever it is your trying to say can wait til you regain your strength,"

Kissing her head her checks her chest rose and fell evenly now, her scent of strawberry lingered in the air, "I'm so lost without you, my kids Sylvie, I'm scared to death baby, I need you to win this fight," She squeezed my hand her eyes closing she's exhausted. Maybe I'm putting too much pressure on her right now was that what she's trying to tell me?

Her hand was warm even though her body was shivering from the chills, "I'm not afraid to say I am in love with you Sylvie, I'll hold your hand in public, I will shout it from the rooftop of 51, I don't care how people look at us, talk about us or say it happened too fast, or that we got together just because you got pregnant, I'll be careless with my heart because I know it's in amazing hands, I found my diamond. I will keep you shining forever if you promise to give me forever."

Looking up towards the heavens I lifted my voice to the Lord. "Will you give me forever Lord? I know I am not the most patient of men nor am I perfect or listen to you or your commends all the time, I've lost so many women I have loved, Laura, Julie, Sasha, Hailey, please don't punish my kids or my lady I get it she's you child you have the un-divine right to call her home when you see fit, but please Lord I am begging you not to we've lost so many ones we've loved, can't you spare her? We need her we love her to,"

"Lord you've taken Hailey from us a hero's death is still a death, gone is gone I know she's with the angels, I hope she's at peace now, please can't you spare an angel? Ambrosia needs her mama, I need my mama, can the angels wait a little longer before they take Sylvie home?"

Her eyes opened as she stared straight ahead I turned excepting to see someone at her door, but it was empty. Why was she staring? Why was she trying to point. "Baby?"

I kissed her check as she looked at me trying to talk again. "Shay, Hailey...I got to go...Antonio...I love ... You….I'm sorry... their call…. ing."

My scream filled the hall as hands physically removed me from the room which quickly filled with medical professionals. Was this his answer to my prayer?


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 25**

 **P O V: Eva Dawson**

"Your beautiful Amalia," those words mean everything to me even though it's taken me a month to get use to my new identity. I'm living in Mykonos Greece now I barely survived the attack by those animals the only reason I did was because one of those men. Agisilaos jumped in to save me he shot Emilio somehow he got Diego and I out of there, he put us on a plane and got us jobs at his friend's club here in Greece.

The club is run by a former teen celebrity named Maelle Jennings everyone calls her Maj for short. She's a tough boss for sure but if you perform well she's fair. I've kept out of her eyesight because I do my job I stay out of the drama that most of the other ambassadors seem to bring.

Already I have become a supervisor Diego who's going by the name Jermaine is a boat tour guide. This island is beautiful we've been exploring it when we have days off. I'm proud of the man he's becoming strong he works out all the time his body is amazing, he's not a little kid anymore we celebrated his 16th birthday with a beach party. He's smart he's gotten himself clean and he's studying for his GED.

Maj is creating a show all about her rise from fame queen to the paparazzi fall party girl to come back queen. She brought in Ambassadors from all over the world to help host her club which is the go to spot for nightlife on this island.

Right now it is packed with party goers having the time of their lives, the music is blasting spun by the four D.J's one of them being Diego. My job is to be one of the model markets. I love it right now I am dancing with several of the men, who all want to spend their money on me, I never sleep with them but I let them think I will.

As long as they are buying dancing and turning up I know I am doing it well. I work hard after the club closes I am scrubbing floors washing walls, cleaning bathrooms, I'm not too good for anything.

I've stayed out of the shows radar requesting not to be in it, I try to put my past behind me, I don't think about my parents or my family back home it's too painful. Yet I am reminded I am not normal like everyone else, I am a fugitive, if I get caught I go down hard.

I've become close to Maj more than anyone else here she's just so real so sweet, we've gone shopping together, we had sleepovers, yet we separate business verse pleasure, she's harder on me here than anyone else. It's cool though because it pushes me to work harder grind harder.

Clients will sell me all kinds of bullshit to get me to sleep with them like this dude putting his hands all over my body as we dance his words mean a lot even though they are total bullshit.

It means I've gotten to where I need to be I like where I am now my body is in the best shape ever, my mind is healthy, my hair is grown I dyed it pink, blue.

Hours pass my body is dragging my mind is tired but I keep going till we close for the night or morning. We're all tired most of the VIP Hostess are half drunk and arguing, I move away from them.

"Listen everyone!" Maj calls order to her staff raising her glass of water "Amazing night thank you all of you, however I need you to tune all this bitching down, I need you to stop competing with each other, this isn't about you or who can out beat the other, if you are here for your own intentions and not to represent me and my brand get the fuck out now, I am here to build a company, I need team players. I have had enough of people using me, I need realness, I do not need people who are using me, camera's are flipped now people. I am watching you the way everyone has watched me, fuck up your out, work hard I will give you the keys to paradise to make your own success."

She turns as the doors open "Sorry we're closed," I can't see who it is or hear what they say but she gets down from the table and heads over to the guests. Minutes later I am thrown against the bar. My eyes lock with the person who has flipped me through the glass mirror covering the drinks behind the bar. My eyes connect with Erin Lindsay "Eva Dawson you are under arrest for aggravated assault of a minor child, resisting arrest, murder with special circumstances, related to the death of Detective Hailey Upton anything you say can and will be used against you in the court of law do you understand these rights as read to you?"

Hailey's dead? Oh god was she the one shot? Tyler poor Tyler my eyes connect with Maj's as I am pulled up her mouth hangs open as she clears the room, I see Diego in cuffs with Kim holding him, her eyes were colder than Erin's.

I never want to see the look of disappointment in Maj's eyes as I do now. I knew in that instant I had blown it on so many levels. I want to die. My life is over anyway so why should it matter?


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25**

 **P O V: Eva Dawson**

"Your beautiful Amalia," those words mean everything to me even though it's taken me a month to get use to my new identity. I'm living in Mykonos Greece now I barely survived the attack by those animals the only reason I did was because one of those men. Agisilaos jumped in to save me he shot Emilio somehow he got Diego and I out of there, he put us on a plane and got us jobs at his friend's club here in Greece.

The club is run by a former teen celebrity named Maelle Jennings everyone calls her Maj for short. She's a tough boss for sure but if you perform well she's fair. I've kept out of her eyesight because I do my job I stay out of the drama that most of the other ambassadors seem to bring.

Already I have become a supervisor Diego who's going by the name Jermaine is a boat tour guide. This island is beautiful we've been exploring it when we have days off. I'm proud of the man he's becoming strong he works out all the time his body is amazing, he's not a little kid anymore we celebrated his 16th birthday with a beach party. He's smart he's gotten himself clean and he's studying for his GED.

Maj is creating a show all about her rise from fame queen to the paparazzi fall party girl to come back queen. She brought in Ambassadors from all over the world to help host her club which is the go to spot for nightlife on this island.

Right now it is packed with party goers having the time of their lives, the music is blasting spun by the four D.J's one of them being Diego. My job is to be one of the model markets. I love it right now I am dancing with several of the men, who all want to spend their money on me, I never sleep with them but I let them think I will.

As long as they are buying dancing and turning up I know I am doing it well. I work hard after the club closes I am scrubbing floors washing walls, cleaning bathrooms, I'm not too good for anything.

I've stayed out of the shows radar requesting not to be in it, I try to put my past behind me, I don't think about my parents or my family back home it's too painful. Yet I am reminded I am not normal like everyone else, I am a fugitive, if I get caught I go down hard.

I've become close to Maj more than anyone else here she's just so real so sweet, we've gone shopping together, we had sleepovers, yet we separate business verse pleasure, she's harder on me here than anyone else. It's cool though because it pushes me to work harder grind harder.

Clients will sell me all kinds of bullshit to get me to sleep with them like this dude putting his hands all over my body as we dance his words mean a lot even though they are total bullshit.

It means I've gotten to where I need to be I like where I am now my body is in the best shape ever, my mind is healthy, my hair is grown I dyed it pink, blue.

Hours pass my body is dragging my mind is tired but I keep going till we close for the night or morning. We're all tired most of the VIP Hostess are half drunk and arguing, I move away from them.

"Listen everyone!" Maj calls order to her staff raising her glass of water "Amazing night thank you all of you, however I need you to tune all this bitching down, I need you to stop competing with each other, this isn't about you or who can out beat the other, if you are here for your own intentions and not to represent me and my brand get the fuck out now, I am here to build a company, I need team players. I have had enough of people using me, I need realness, I do not need people who are using me, camera's are flipped now people. I am watching you the way everyone has watched me, fuck up your out, work hard I will give you the keys to paradise to make your own success."

She turns as the doors open "Sorry we're closed," I can't see who it is or hear what they say but she gets down from the table and heads over to the guests. Minutes later I am thrown against the bar. My eyes lock with the person who has flipped me through the glass mirror covering the drinks behind the bar. My eyes connect with Erin Lindsay "Eva Dawson you are under arrest for aggravated assault of a minor child, resisting arrest, murder with special circumstances, related to the death of Detective Hailey Upton anything you say can and will be used against you in the court of law do you understand these rights as read to you?"

Hailey's dead? Oh god was she the one shot? Tyler poor Tyler my eyes connect with Maj's as I am pulled up her mouth hangs open as she clears the room, I see Diego in cuffs with Kim holding him, her eyes were colder than Erin's.

I never want to see the look of disappointment in Maj's eyes as I do now. I knew in that instant I had blown it on so many levels. I want to die. My life is over anyway so why should it matter?


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26**

 **P O V: Gabriela Dawson**

 **February 14th 2020**

"Do you take this women to have, to hold and to treasure through sickness, health? Through death due you part?"

Antonio's eyes hold the most beautiful sparkle as he holds Sylvie's hands his smile is wide as his breath hitched "Yes I do,"

"Sylvie," Chaplain Sheffield asked turning towards Sylvie who stands tall looking healthy, beautiful next to her maid of honor, me. Matt Antonio's best man stands across from her grinning ear to ear.

"Do you take this man to have, to hold and to treasure through sickness, health? Through death due you part?"

She smiled back towards Antonio "I do 100%, I do,"

"Is there anyone here who objects to these two becoming man and wife? Speak now or forever hold your peace,"

"I do!" All heads turned to see who objected and look down to see my seven year old son Brent grinning, "Antonio didn't ask my permission to marry my aunt Sylvie, a man should ask permission first!"

He was kidding I think but Antonio got down on his knee in front of Brent who was taller now his hair now to his neck he looked phenomenal in his tux, healthy glowing, both have had a rough year of recovering from transplants. Things are looking up now Brent who is back in school he passed to first grade. Sylvie is back to work part time her strength still isn't up to 100% yet. Their still going through Chemo twice a week to keep the cancer at bay.

"Okay little brave man. May I please have your permission to marry this gorgeous woman your aunt Sylvie?"

He seemed to think about it "yes if you promise to love her when she's throwing up kiss her when she's sad and be the best daddy to my cousin the way my daddy is to me,"

He threw his arms around Antonio who laughed "I promise little man," "Okay than continue," Everyone laughed as Antonio stood back up taking Sylvie's hands as Chaplain Sheffield turned to them "With the power invested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife, you may kiss the bride,"

Antonio lifted her veil smiling wide "May I Sylvie?"

"What are you waiting for plant those gorgeous lips on mine,"

Everyone cheered as Antonio dipped her kissing her passionately. This day is beautiful I stand there crying opening, unashamed. Sad Shay can't be here or his kids both are locked up. Maj managed to get an amazing lawyer for them who got deals for them, they turned over Evidence against Blake. He got Life in Prison, Eva and Diego got four years for each of the beatings, and four years of probation, the charges against Hailey were dropped by her parents, who pleaded for them.

It still hurts everyday but their home in Chicago with good behavior they may get out in another year. Maj has been amazing helping us financially visiting with them promising them jobs when they get out. she's gotten them consoling, she gives them a reason to stay clean and behave.

She also managed to get enough media attention that Asher the young boy who was kidnapped is now safe at home with his family.

Our family's been through hell but we've come out stronger. Ambrosia is now almost a year old she's beautiful and funny, right now she's dancing with four year old Sam.

Looking around I feel blessed and as whole as I can be without my best friend Shay. Matt and I are renewing our vows later today, right now I take Sylvie in my arms and thank god I can hold her and my son.

"Sylvie Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weaknesses. I am so blessed so thankful to have you in my life, I love you."

Her arms wrap around me as a beautiful song comes on by Matthew West. "May I have this dance please?" She kisses my check "Yes, you may,"

"This is the story of your life  
You decide  
How the rest is gonna read  
This is your chance between the lines  
To redefine what kind of legacy you leave  
This is the story of your life  
And it's a story worth telling"

She feels amazing in my arms but I happily part so Matt can have a dance with his sister. This summer they are going on that vacation they've had planned. He's smiling so wide as he spins his sister who is radiant her checks glowing, she's beautiful.

This is the joy  
And it's the pain  
And all the pages in between  
Your finest hour  
Your weakest moment  
It where you've been  
It's where you are  
It's where you're going

She rests her head on his shoulder "Thank you Matt for giving me the gift of life, for your friendship, your love, and your brotherly advice and protection, I will forever be grateful."

He handed her over to Antonio "Take care of my baby sister or I promise you I will be the last face you see," Antonio held up his hands laughing "I promise I will never take her for-granted. You my friend just better do the same for my hermana."

Antonio took Sylive into his arms as they gazed into each other's eyes and kissed.

This is the story of your life  
You decide  
How the rest is gonna read  
This is your chance between the lines  
To redefine the kind of legacy you leave  
This is the story of your life  
Go tell the story of your life  
Cause it's a story worth telling  
It's worth telling

Is this the end?  
Or only the beginning?

 **A/N: Lyrics by Matthew West**


End file.
